Bradley's Buzz

Today's Bubbatune - Rachel Sweet

As I sit here drinking a Captain and Coke, I am reminded of a simpler time. A time when I was sweet sixteen, much cuter and a tad thinner, and not quite a lush. In fact, it was when I was 16; I had my very first drink. Also at 16, sweet chanteuse Rachel Sweet released her very first record. So one of us got a fairly great career while the other got a fairly great hangover. I’ll let you figure out which one is which.

RACHEL SWEET - …SO WELL (bub54)
Album Design by Bradley Jacobson

Track List:
1.Fool’s Gold
2.I Go To Pieces
3.Shadows Of The Night
4.Spellbound
5.B-A-B-Y
6.Billy & The Gun
7.Suspended Animation
8.Pin A Medal On Mary
9.Party Girl
10.Who Does Lisa Like?
11.I’ve Got A Reason
12.Voo Doo
13.Then He Kissed Me/Be My Baby
14.Tonight Ricky
15.Cuckoo Clock
16.Be Stiff
17.Hairspray
18.It’s So Different Here
19.A Teenage Prayer
20.New Age
21.Stranger In The House
22.Please Mr. Jailer
23.Everlasting Love (w/ Rex Smith)

THE STORY

Smokey and Evelyn Guenther were our next-door neighbors from the time we moved into our house when I was in the third grade, until high school when they sold their house and moved to a retirement home. Yes, those Guenthers were old souls but they loved the hooch and my parents loved them. So we spent countless hours together.

The Guenther’s had a few children of their own, most of whom were older than my parents. One such child was a truck driving whore named Gary and when I say that I mean it with the utmost affection for he was a pretty good truck driver I was told, and due to the amount of children coming out of the woodwork, he was a pretty good whore as well.

One of his sons was a hottie named Todd. My Aunt Sarah had the biggest crush on Todd and who could really blame her. He was the closest thing to Rick Springfield our town had ever seen. Every time my aunt would come to visit we were given instructions to let Smokey and Evelyn know, as they could then arrange for their grandson to visit as well.

One Saturday night, Sarah was babysitting for me while my parents were out a drinking and shaking up Mosinee. Sarah had promised to let me stay up and watch Solid Gold, as it was my favorite nighttime series. I was hoping she’d get distracted or fall asleep during it so that I might stay up and watch Madame’s Place, which followed it.

I thought for sure my distraction plan was going to happen when there was a knock on the door and hottie Todd Guenther was there. Sarah took out her retainer and did her best to pour on that Jacobson charm.

Her attempts to woo the Guenth man seemed to be going well as they sat and talked while I watched my show. They would laugh, they would flirt, I would want to puke and wonder why I didn’t have a Guenther to love me up.

But then Solid Gold would come back on and I would be transcended into the gold lame of those saucy dancers and the top 10 count down. Todd made a few jokes trying to jibe me by saying I only watched the show for the hot bods of those women dancers. “Oh Todd, if you only knew the hot bods I crave,” was my thought, but instead I smiled, ignored him and looked at those tight leather pants on the male dancers.

As Solid Gold progressed a feisty little number with long black hair was introduced, “Rachel Sweet singing her new song ‘Voo Doo'. Well voo doo that you do so well, I was in love. She was saucy, she was spicy, she had a strange voice made up of scratches, hisses and squeaks. I loved her.

As I was watching my show it occurred to me that my Aunt and Todd had somehow stopped talking. I wondered, if like I, they were so engrossed in the show they couldn’t speak either. But as I turned around I became mortified to find out, they weren’t even watching the show. They were kissing!

I just about lost it right there. How dare they ignore my show and me! What kind of role models were these people. I had to voice my opinion. And so I did. Sarah decided I was much too young to be up so late and I must be tired for speaking the way I was. So she was going to send me to bed.

“Send me to bed,” I thought, “No way sister. I’m staying up and watching Madame’s Place, because if I don’t, I’m telling my mother you were up in her room making out with Todd Guenther.”

Well, that was all it took to get her to calm down, and that was about all it took to get Todd Guenther out of the house. Apparently, a hot Guenther is no match for a bright white haired kid with a penchant for over dramatics.

If only my story ended there. Instead, it goes on and on…

Smokey and Evelyn always had huge 4th of July family picnics at Lake DuBay. The summer of my 16th birthday was just one more of those old picnics, or so I thought. For I discovered a little thing called Pabst Blue Ribbon.

As the summer heat wore on that day, I would go from the lake back to the picnic tables where the adults were all drinking and laughing and partying like it was 1929. Oh, how I wanted to be a grown up and hang out like that.

Of course all the Guenther grandchildren, children and who knows what else were there. Well, Todd wasn’t there but I figured since Sarah wasn’t there either that would explain the absence of the Guenth god.

After having all I could take of the beach, I decided I was going to be completely involved in this whole adult picnic thing. As the adults chatted and laughed, something terribly unfunny happened.

Smokey was telling one of his ultimate tall tales when Evelyn looked at her husband and gasped! “Smokey, your family jewels are hanging out,” she said.

I didn’t know what the old woman was talking about. I looked all over for emeralds and diamonds, searching under the picnic table for some rare gem the Guenther’s weren’t supposed to be showing. And that’s when I saw it… there hanging out of Smokey’s swim trunks like a flattened marble, one of his testicles! Just sitting there on the bench next to him. He laughed, tucked it away but I, I was mortified. I decided I needed a drink. So I had one.

I started by sneaking drinks off of everyone who was fool enough to leave a beer can sitting out. Then as the night progressed and they all got more and more inebriated, I moved up to having my own can. The adults seemed to get a kick out of the fact I had a beer in my hand. I didn’t bother to tell them that the one can they kept seeing was in actuality my fifth.

Oh how I had a ball… and not one of the family jewel kinds. I laughed, I cried, I told jokes, I heard jokes, I thought I was the life of the party. That is until I felt something creeping up on me, from the bottom of my gut. Something itching to get out and I had to let it out.

My parents decided it was time to go home around that moment. So we drove home with my mother pulling over at least twenty times to let her “baby” get out and puke his brains out.

When we got home, I tried to go to sleep but it didn’t look like it was going to be easy. As the bed began to swirl and those images of Rachel Sweet and Todd Guenther danced in my head, I had to once again let go, and again and again…

My mother came into my room, and helped me to the shower. I was sober enough to realize I didn’t want her to see any of my family jewels. But of course since I couldn’t walk, stand or sit, I did need her help. The whole shock of my mother seeing me nude, had me so upset, I didn’t even take off my socks before hopping into the shower.

Eventually, I made it through the night. I got through the humility of puking in front of every single Guenther ever born, I got through the humility of my mother seeing my naked teenage body, I even got through the humility of knowing I had seen an 85 year old ball, but what I knew I would never get over, was that feeling of being drunk!

I told my mother than under no uncertain terms would I ever be drinking again. She was happy to hear that and figured I learned a very valuable lesson. That lesson lasted about six months before I fell in with the wrong crowd.

The wrong crowd ironically ended up being a bunch of 21 year olds, one who was – you guessed it, one of Gary Guenther’s other roadside kids.




THE SONGS
By the time I had “discovered” Rachel Sweet, she had already released three albums. The first album Fool Around came out in 1978 in the UK and had a release stateside the following year. It was a fun little piece of pop/punk/country with Rachel being dubbed by Stiff Records as the “Little Girl with The Big Voice.” They were really pushing the “little girl” boundaries as well as they tried to pass her off as a Lolita type and hyped her age of 16 a lot. The songs she did were a hybrid of just about everything but the fact no one could ignore was the girl could sing.

The album did fairly well and gave her a UK single hit with “B-A-B-Y”. She toured on the Be Stiff tour and then did another album.

1980’s Protect The Innocent is regarded by most as the definitive Rachel Sweet album. Still clinging to some of the country punk she had on the debut, most of it was new wave to the extreme. Critics are still talking about it, saying if Britney Spears had as much sex appeal as Rachel delivered, the Brits would’ve never been aired on television.

The following year came ...And Then He Kissed Me, which moved Rachel into more mainstream rock than her previous endeavors. Included on the album was the original version of “Shadows Of The Night.” Yes, that “Shadows Of The Night” by my girl. It also included Rachel’s only US hit, a sappy though not unbearable duet with Rex Smith (now he’s unbearable) on “Everlasting Love.”

After that only one album came 1982’s Blame It On Love, which included that “Voo Doo”, I heard so long ago. Since then Rachel, a high school drop out, went to college, earned her degree, and as acted in sitcoms, and with the persistence of John Waters recorded a few nuggets including the theme song to his movie “Hairspray.”

No matter the lack of material for such a long period of time, these songs just floor me every time I listen to them. I had downloaded a ton of them but never really listened to them until recently and now I’m the hugest fan. I have “reissued” two of her albums, and made this compilation featuring some of the best songs. It’s a real shame her music isn’t readily available. There is only one compilation currently in print and it doesn’t include any of her post 1980 music. But thanks to me, we have …So Well.

…So Well (named after that brilliant line from “Voo Doo”) begins with “Fool’s Gold” from the Protect The Innocent album. It’s a rocking little song that combines the best of Rachel's world - a little bit of new wave with a little bit of that old 60s girl group feel - “I’m a fool I supoooooose…” “but I would search the world for that Fool’s Gold.” It was a single that never quite cut it on the charts, but it’s one piece of lovely little pop.

Rachel Sweet was the protégé of producer Liam Sternberg and he produced the brunt of the debut album. Stiff Records feeling his stuff may not get our girl a hit added a few extra ditties to the album including a Del Shannon cover “I Go To Pieces.” Rachel has a way with a lyric and she can sing anything. In this case, she makes up a one-woman girl group singing the 60s ditty with ferocity and pain, just as it should be.

Fool Around was the only Rachel Sweet you could get on CD for a while but now even that’s been pulled, but because of that initial CD release, I was able to get all the songs from the debut. Thus, this collection uses about 10 of those songs. The album was so eclectic; you’d never recognize the songs all come from the same album.

“B-A-B-Y” was the big hit for Rachel (in the UK #35). Again it’s a 60s cover but the song was launched with such an importance put on the fact it was a 16 year old singing about subject matter not normally sung by a 16 year old, the song got a lot of promotion. “Baby/ Oh Baby/ I love to call you baby/Baby, ooh my baby/I love it for you to call me baby/and I can’t stop loving you/and I won’t stop calling you baby…” Rachel’s almost throaty squeak filled voice fills the whole song against the horns and the drums, she really “can’t help it… B-A-B-Y, Baby/B-A-B-Y, Baby.”

“Suspended Animation” has 1978 written all over it. You just don’t hear titles like that after 1983. The song was the B-side to the UK “B-A-B-Y” single. It’s a simple piece of new wave pop beginning with a rock guitar riff and a few horns. It’s a song the Waitresses could’ve written. “Why must it be me who must wait/what do the other girls got/that I ain’t got../ I’m down on my knees/I just got to please/all the desire I have for him…” Geez, no wonder she was pushed off as a Lolita.

Four of the best songs from this time period have a punky attitude set to a more pop musical background. “Pin A Medal On Mary” sounds like a 1960s Rolling Stone song and with its lyrics, it could have been. Sounding similar to the Stones “Stupid Girl” this song is a hilarious bitch slap about a boyfriend who is seeing Mary on the side, “You said you were going to the bathroom/but you were gone for half an hour/You came back so disarranged/you hadn’t been there for a shower/Pin a medal on Mary/she’s the girl who tore our love apart/pin a medal on Mary/she’s the girl who stole your heart/you’ve been acting so scary/coming through the door/and looking so coy/Pin a medal on Mary/she will steal your boy.” As the song progresses into the second verse, “you said you were walking in the garden/but you were so long it seemed like hours/you weren’t taking in the air/and I know you weren’t picking flowers,” and a giant defiant “NO!” before the second chorus kicks in.

In a similar vein is “Who Does Lisa Like?” whose title comes off sounding some kind of fluff a 16 year old may sing. But not this 16 year old. The song is set to a punk reggae rhythm and sure, the song is all about some teens wondering who or what Lisa is doing but its done so well, this isn't teen fluff at all. The song begins with the girls “sitting around in the Firestone parking lot but it’s all right…” The girls all wonder who does Lisa like? Since she’s wearing “flashy clothes/oooh ta ta ta” and the phone is always busy, “ooh ta ta ta…” Set to a reggae beat the song ends with some hilarious lines as the girls in the parking lot aren’t going to worry about real world events, “Nothing’s important/if that’s not important/so don’t change the subject…” For these girls know what the important things are, “People are starving in India/Fighting in Baghdad/but we don’t care/We ask ourselves but it’s not any of our business/besides we don’t dare/who does Lisa like?”

The punkiest of these first Rachel Sweet tunes has to be “Cuckoo Clock” which is just an odd song all around. It’s also one that really grows on you. Perhaps the fact Rachel was signed to Stiff Records made the inevitable punky pop song a necessity. Written by Sternberg the song tells the story of the girl who lives in the “Cuckoo Clock.” “What’s in the cuckoo clock?/don’t leave the thing unlocked,” a drum beat comes in and we find out “I’m a toy singer/so don’t be alarmed/if I sound real/I look real/I am real…” Apparently Rachel didn’t understand the song when she recorded it and Liam instructed her to just scream so she did and it all came out as pure genius – silly genius, but genius none the less.

The country twinged Rachel appears first in her take on Elvis Costello’s “Stranger In The House”. Not so much a homage to country music, this is a straight up country song. Rachel again finds her twangy voice and declares from the beginning, “This never was one of the great romances/but I thought you’d always have those young boy eyes/and now they’re giving tired and bitter glances/at the ghost of the girl who walks around in my disguise…”

Like myself, Rachel has decreed Elvis Costello a musical genius and this was her first and only recorded Elvis cover, while Swivek launched “Girls Talk” upon the world. Either way, we were both way ahead of Linda Ronstadt’s god awful “Alison” from 1978.

Fool Around didn’t just come up with country punk, new wave and 60s girl group to create its own sound, a little bit of jazzy reggae was thrown in as well. “It’s So Different Here” takes the reggae punk beat of “Who Does Lisa Like?” and tones it down a notch or two. A silky little groove drives the song where images of “women carry water jugs” and the heat of the island are felt thorough the speakers. “Women walk in the shade with water jugs/it’s so different here/so hot/no phones or cars/it’s so different here/it’s so hot in here….”

Stiff scouts discovered Rachel when they visited Akron, Ohio – home to such things as Devo and Rachel Sweet. She joined the Akron Stiff tour and then joined the Be Stiff tour which was a roster of Stiff Records acts. Each one of those acts got the chance to record their own version of Devo’s “Be Stiff” – the unofficial anthem of Stiff Records.

Rachel’s version is country twinged but it’s the alternative country so many hard rock bands attempted in the late 80s. She was ahead of her time all around. Rachel uses her best southern twang to add effect and as she hiccups, “Be Stiff/baby be stiff…” you can’t help but hiccup right along.

Rachel’s second album Protect The Innocent was the one that caught every critic’s eye. Unfortunately it didn’t catch anyone else’s. Containing less of the country punk flavor or 60s girl group than the first, it was mostly twelve songs of new wave pop.

“Spellbound” was the one song closest to being a hit from Protect The Innocent hitting #107 on the US Pop Charts. It also happened to be one Rachel loved performing live. Set to a jumpy little new wave beat sounding almost similar to “I Eat Cannibals” with its dramatic beats but coming across just a little more accessible. The song tells of a failed love attempt, “I knew you were bad but I didn’t care/I just had to get next to you/they said you were dangerous/I knew that you could take me there/and I thought I could play your game/give my heart and get away again…” but alas she is “Spellbound/Spellbound/you stick pins in my heart…”

Rachel’s annunciations through out the song make it an ultimate treat in a whole compilation of extreme treats. In almost every song Rachel sounds just slightly different and it all comes off so naturally it’s really unbelievable.

“I’ve Got A Reason” is another of the new wave gems Rachel put on her 1980 album. A guitar driven little rocker, the song begins with a simple keyboard and Rachel’s booming voice, “I’ve got a reason/I’ve been feeling blue…” and from there it goes on as she begins screaming, “I’ve got a reeeeeeasson/I’m feeling this way/I’ve got a reason/and I’m going to make you pay.” Rachel continues her wrath as she’s going “to use very book in the book/don’t confuse me/don’t abuse now…” Now you just know how I love the revenge songs and the sassy female singer so this is an ultimate of mine.

Dipping into the covers once again, Rachel chose Lou Reed’s Hollywood “New Age”. Again, it’s one of my favorite songs by Rachel, and it’s one of my favorite vocal performances from her. Beginning with a guitar riff and Rachel’s high pitched almost baby like voice, both almost inaudible, the song begins, “Can I have a photograph?…” and with each line the song gets louder and louder until, “You’re over the hill right now/looking for love…”

Then the song kicks in with its chorus, “I’ll come running to you/darling when you want me…” and then, “Can I have an autograph?…” as the story progresses of the love of a Hollywood affair, “You’re over the hill right now/looking for love…”

Finally, the drums and guitars kick in and Rachel begins a whole new vocal attack, “Something’s got a hold on me and I don’t know what/something’s got a hold on me and I don’t know what/It’s the beginning of a new age/it’s the beginning of a new age…” the background vocals come chiming in, Rachel “ooooohs” and “aaaahs” and the whole thing fades out. Excellent, excellent. Luckily I got all these songs and was able to create a reissue of Protect The Innocent in the bubbatunes collection.

Though the album didn’t have as much in diversity as the debut, Rachel was able to incorporate a few little nuggets of different musical styles. “Tonight Ricky” is just about two bars from being a jazz song. Smoky vocals tell the tale of Rachel’s midnight rendezvous with Ricky. This is the song that the critic noted coursed so much more sensuality of teenage lust than anything Britney could’ve dreamed of. And Rachel didn’t even take her clothes off…

“I know we’re too young to stay up on Sunday night/but the innocent of youth must fall behind/I’ll call you when the coast is clear and everything is alright/oh, we’re too young to want to waste the time/tonight Ricky we can be alone/tonight Ricky there ain’t nobody home/tonight Ricky we can find out how we fell/Tonight Ricky it’s real…” At 17, wasn’t lust fun?

Now for the reason Rachel Sweet began to intrigue me all over again – “Shadows Of The Night.” I hadn’t known Rachel actually did this song, all I knew was that an outside writer named DL Byron had written it and Pat Benatar recorded in 1982. When Pat’s box set came out in 1999, she mentioned that DL Byron sent her the song but never bothered to tell her or her label that Rachel Sweet had changed some of the words he wrote, and thus changed some of the words Pat was singing. Pat ended up changing lyrics as well and the real writing credits should be DL Byron/Rachel Sweet/Pat Benatar/Myron Grombacher, but only DL Byron was getting credit. That is until Rachel stepped in.

It all worked out, but was a bit of a mess for Pat and the boys. Meanwhile, Rachel’s version recorded in 1981 was released as a single but didn’t do anything on the charts. This version begins with a piano and the opening lines, which are different from Pat’s new wave metal induced power ballad, “You said Oh girl, it’s a cold world/when we’re restless and we’re young/you said slow down/it’s a showdown/but our time will surely come/ransom your heart but baby don’t look back/cause Independence day has come…” Even the chorus is slightly altered as Rachel runs “through” the Shadows Of The Night while Pat opts to run "with" them. Nonetheless, Rachel’s version does turn into a rock ballad as it should be, and though I’m always partial to Pat, this is a really cool version of the song.

…And Then He Kissed Me, also contained one of the cleverest ways of incorporating 60s covers. “Then He Kissed Me/Be My Baby” begins with a straight up cover of “Then He Kissed Me” but as the crescendo of that songs comes around, “He kissed me like I’ve never been kissed before/and he kissed me like I wanted to be kissed forever” and then she breaks into, “so I said, Be My, Be My little baby…” and the song goes into the Ronettes cover. Once again, it was released as a single that never really went anywhere. This was one clever overlooked 19 year old.

My two favorite songs by Rachel Sweet also happen to be taken from that 1981 album. “Billy & The Gun”, written by Rachel, is a dramatic tale done to a piano with little instrumentation here and there, Rachel talks about her worrisome friend Billy who seems hell bent on destroying his life; “On a hot winter night there’s a single light burning from his room…” the song begins, “I yell but there’s no reply/I hold my breath as the seconds roll by/I run up with my heart in my eyes/we’re only having fuuun/billy and the gun…”

The song just goes uphill from there as Rachel recounts Christine, “the beauty queen of the local high” whose “1,2,3 in Biology/drove the young boys wild,” including Billy. But Rachel reminds him that “One great love isn’t all it seems/why don’t you hand me that damn machine/we’re only having fuuun/billy and the gun.”

The four verse song continues as Billy thinks about flying with the angels and taking that game with the gun a little far and in my ultimate favorite lyric Rachel tells him, “Oh Billy you don’t want a heart of steel/cause you won’t hurt but baby you won’t feel/and as long as the pain is real/we’re only having fuuuun/billy and the gun.” I love it… It’s something everyone should hear and if things go well you will as I’m planning a Swivek cover.

The second fav from Rachel is “Party Girl”, another song written by Rachel all by herself. The song starts with a drum roll and a piano driven rock beat and once again she is handing out big sister advice only this time it’s to the party girl of the title, “You want to be a party girl/a party girl tonight/you say you’re gonna be a party girl/a party girl tonight/” and the clincher, “Don’t let him touch your heart/don’t let him touch your soul/don’t let him know you save it up for rock and roll/don’t let him touch your soul baby/you’re the party girl…” I love it….

After …And Then He Kissed Me, Rachel took the helm and produced her own record at the ripe old age of 20. Blame It On Love was again not much of a chart success and to be perfectly honest, I’ve yet to find a used copy of it I can afford. The one song I do know that came off the album was Voo Doo. I loved this song from the moment I heard it. Completely 1982, the song was added to the Valley Girl soundtrack when it was released on CD and for good reason. Combining Rachel’s salty vocals, it is moody and fun all at the same time, the song did make it to #79 on the Pop Charts so it wasn’t a complete loss.

It’s definitely a rock song and not the same type of music she did prior to 1981, but her vocals are great and the song is very to sing along with, which I always love, “If it’s Voo doo honey/who can tell?/with the Voo Doo that you do…so well.”

After retiring from her music career, Rachel went to college and began to do acting and writing to pay her bills. But John Waters, always intrigued with a Lolita and the off kilter, brought her back to the recording studio to record the theme song to his 1988 movie Hairspray and with it’s 60s beats, the hilarious lyrics and Rachel’s squeak, the whole thing came together beautifully.

So it’s no surprise when John did his homage to 50s musicals in Cry Baby, the female vocal was done by Rachel. Though not in the movie, both Johnny Depp and his co-stars vocals are dubbed. In the female case of the big stand out, “Please Mr. Jailer” it’s Rachel doing the grind in the down and dirty ballad.

Rachel also recorded vocals for the oh so dreamy 50s cover “A Teenage Prayer,” a fitting little song for someone who themselves was a teenage prayer for many a teenage love sick fool, and some dirty old men as well I’m sure.

The last song on this compilation is the obligatory US hit single. After Rachel’s Stiff contract ended, Columbia/CBS became her main label through out the world. They wanted Rachel to do a duet and she was all for it – hoping they’d call in Graham Parsons or her idol Elvis Costello. Instead she got flavor of the month Rex Smith.

The song was almost as cheesy as her singing partner, “Everlasting Love” another cover. Gloria Estefan would again take it to the top ten years ago, but she’s pretty inconsequential to this story (or the world for that matter). Anyway, the song is one everyone seems to know, “Hearts go astray/leaving hurt when they go/I went away just when you needed me so,” and it’s Rex who starts the whole thing, but Rachel takes it from there until the shared chorus, “Open up your eyes/then you realize/here I stand with my everlasting love…” Set to a pseudo rock disco riff, it’s not a bad song, it’s just not a great song either and in the word of one critic, “Rex Smith sings it like a Hallmark commercial…” and in fact he really does.

I guess it was his way of having something to sing when he did his stint as co-host on Solid Gold, after my boy Andy Gibb took a sabbatical from fame and that slut Victoria Principal who sent him on a downward spiral to death… but that’s a whole different story.

posted by swivek @ 9:04 AM