Bradley's Buzz

The $1400 Cleaning

In the video for "Anxiety (Get Nervous)" Pat Benatar addresses one of her greatest fears - going to the dentist. As she sits in the waiting room and numerous other patients are driven to madness, our girl slowly goes crazy herself - her hair gets bigger, the video gets darker until by the time she is taken into the office her hair is out to there and her 80s jacket has become a pseudo straight jacket. It's hilarious, it's fun, it's downright scary.

I, too have a problem with dentists - my whole life my teeth have been nothing but trouble. Everytime I go to the dentist, I end up getting major work done. Even a routine cleaning turns into something called a "deep cleaning" which involves numbing my gums and having my jaw open for hours at a time. It also involves numerous repeat visits which just makes it all worse.



But after getting my teeth "deep" cleaned part two yesterday, and a filling filled, (I had a cavity under an existing cavity that was already taken care of... see what I mean); I realize perhaps Pat wasn't so upset about the actual experience of going to the dentist but it was the frickin' bill she was going to get that had her in such paranoia.

Speaking of Pat and bills, I just found out (late!) that on April 4th when I was spending my dough on the new Pink, The Sounds and Morrissey albums, another crop of album classics was re-released in fantastic remastered version - Pat's first three albums In The Heat Of The Night, Crimes Of Passion and Precious Time are all now neatly available. Needless to say, after this bout with the dentist it may take another 20 years before I can afford to buy them.


My little visit to the sadistic people of teeth and its subsequent repeat visits will cost me $1400 frickin' dollars and that's above what my crappy insurance already shells out to the office. Now for frickin' $1400 I should have bright whites that are as big and glorious as an Osmonds, or even Pat's big whites (incidentally to tie all this together Pat's publishing company is called Big Tooth Music) - I just can't believe for almost $2000 I sit and get polked and prodded; and lock jaw; and the sweats. No wonder by the end of the video for "Anxiety" Pat has just decided to turn around and work for the dental office - it's probably the only way to pay them off.

posted by swivek @ 12:23 PM