Bradley's Buzz

Children Are Scary

There are only 13 days until Halloween so here are a few more little videos to throw into your DVD player for those extra chills you may need before the holiday screams into your life...

Today we look at a group of movies that show us just how scary children really can be; and of course a number of these flicks scared the beejesus out of me when I was but a wee boy. In fact this group of kids will make you think twice about opening that door for those trick or treaters, and maybe even look at your own child a little differently.


THE CHILDREN (1980)
I saw this strange little film one late night on Cinemax when I probably should've been in bed - I would've been better off as this has terrorized me for years. It all begins in Small Town USA where they happen to have a chemical plant, of course there is an accident and a strange haze is set loose. The only people to venture through the haze are the pregnant wife of the hero in her VW who honks and passes the school bus. The wife turns out fine but the bus ends up deserted. The townsfolk go on the hunt for the missing children and end up wishing they hadn't found them. They all turn up hands stretched out, black fingernails and wanting hugs. Once the adults give out the hugs the children hug tight and burn them alive! I can't even make this shit up. My cousin Paula also knew the movie and used to terrorize me by coming at me with her hands stretched. I can't recall if she did but it wouldn't surprise me if one night she painted her fingernails black and came at me. Oh, and I should mention the only way to kill said children is by cutting off their hands! Remembered chills: The whole damn movie and the ending!!

VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED (1960/1995)
Both the original and the remake scare me into never wanting a white haired blue eyed child. One night a strange occurance happens in a little town (In the original they're in the UK/ in the remake I believe they're on the East Coast), when all the women get pregnant and give birth to beautiful, genius and very deadly children. Children that can read your mind and are intent on world domination. The original scared my mother and the remake didn't help her son out much either. It's all kind of John Saul-ish, who is the author of the very first adult books I ever read. In every one of his creepy books, things happen in small little towns to and because of children. Perhaps he's as afraid of both of those things as I am, or perhaps I'm afraid of them because of him. Remembered chills: The eyes, it's all about the eyes.

CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984)
Launching a ton of really stupid sequals, the orginal short story and movie are really creepy. Poor Linda Hamilton and her man end up in Nebraska or Iowa or some God Awful place where the straight roads and rows of corn confuse them and they end up trapped. As if being trapped in the Midwest wasn't scary enough, this couple is about to meet up with the children of the town. Unbeknownst to them, a few months prior all the adult were killed in grusome and horrifying ways by the town's children who are at the beck and call of the demon living in the corn field. Linda and her man befriend two seemingly innocent children who actually want out of the town but a demon teen named Isaiah has other plans. Remembered chill: A backseat attack.

AUDREY ROSE (1977)
Another movie where my cousin Paula terrorized me. In this one, the opening has a horrifying car crash where a mother and her young daughter are killed. The poor girl named Audrey Rose burns alive in the car. About 12 years later, Marsha Mason's daughter Ivy begins having nightmares and acting like a different girl. Dismissing it as puberty, little does Marsha know that Ivy may just be Audrey Rose reincarnated. Of course my cousin used to whisper from the other room "Audrey, Audrey Rose" and scare me. Remembered chills: The crash and Ivy burning her hands on a cold window???

THE OMEN / THE OMEN 2: DAMIEN (1976; 1978)
Whoever found the boy to play Damien in these films was a pure casting genius. The first film finds Gregory Peck adopting a child from a nun when his child is still born, unbeknownst to his wife Lee Remick of course. She's pleased as punch to have a child and her husband's government career works so well no one suspects the evil nanny and her dog could be there to protect the actual son of the devil. Once people start offing themselves (supposedly) and Daddy does some digging, we find out Damien isn't the sweet child after all. Chilling memories: the nanny, Lee's staircase shenanigans, hospital gone awry, and in the subsequent sequal, the birds, god the birds! As for the third installment, by then Damien is a man and kind of a demon hottie and as for the remake, it's in my Netflix queue but something tells me it won't beat out the original.


THE GRUDGE (2005); THE RING (2002)
Who knew little Japanese children could be so terrifying! The first installment of The Ring, both the US and original Japanese flicks are scary as all hell. I didn't think they'd be as chilling as they are and to some people they are a tad more humorous but that little wet chick coming out of the TV set scares the sheet right out of me. As for the US version of The Grudge, I didn't want to see it as I think the Japanese originals are always superior to our remakes and I really hate Sarah Michelle Gellar but I watched it none the less and let me just say it scared the crap out of me again! That little boy showing up in the strangest places and the most inopportune moments, usually when I'm taking a swig of something, left me in quite a state. Plus the sound effects on both are great, particularly The Grudge. The little girl from The Ring who terrorizes those who watch her video has been a real inspiration to me. I refuse to have any VHS tapes laying around my house that don't have labels, just in case I put the wrong tape in and end up on her list. I don't need that shit in my life. As for the sequals, the Japanese Ring 2 is pretty good while our Ring Two sucked shizz bad, bad - stay away at all costs, and I haven't seen The Grudge 2 yet so I'll have to get back to you on that.


THE EXCORCIST (1973)
The mother of all evil children films, Linda Blair is still scary even after the demon has been dispensed. Some don't pass this off as a scary film but to them I say, "You are obviously screwed up in the head." Anything that has to do with demonic possesion, a fairly "true events" type of story and evil children scares the crap out of me. Linda's filthy mouth now isn't quite as shocking as it is funny but I guess I just know too many foul mouthed bar people, but the acting, the music (yikes the music), and the story are very chilling. Remembered chill: The dresser attack and in the restored version (get that one) the "Spider Walk".

In case you were thinking only the pre-tweens were in on the action, I give you the scariest and probably corniest of the bunch, 1974's IT'S ALIVE, a movie that still creeps me out. For some reason I remember the commercials when I was really little... that basinett from the cover of the poster turning slowly around while a voice over told us the story only to have the basinett turn around to show that claw. It gave me the creeps. I also remember going with my Aunt to the theater to see this, and running out of the theater. The thing is how could I possibly have done that at an age when I was not really even born myself?? Perhaps the movie was re-released or something or perhaps my aunt took me to the film without my mother knowing. My mother insists she doesn't remember having to pick me up at the theater so perhaps I made up the whole damn thing....

Regardless, this is really one to find - there have two sequals but you can't beat the original - the story is this, the Davis' give birth to their baby only to find that the chemicals and pollution of the world has deformed the baby and instead of a bouncing bundle of joy they have a large fanged, hooked homocidal baby on their hands that immediately kills all the doctors and nurses and disappears into the heating ducts of the hospital. The police and the father search the city for the baby who kills random people until finally the father finds the baby, only to realize the baby isn't evil he was just protecting himself from those that threatened him. Alas, bad things happen and the last line of the movie, "There's another born in Seattle," marks the start of the franchise. Believe me as cheesy as it is, it still brings goose bumps to me remembering how this thing affected me as a kid.

Tomorrow we'll look at some more chilling flicks including some with a little wit and humor... until then, stay away from all children!

posted by swivek @ 12:54 PM