Bradley's Buzz

Video Boredom

You know what sucks ass more than MTV's programming? The 2006 MTV Video Music Awards that's what.. Yes, I wasted another evening watching the boredom, tedium, loud and obnoxious video awards. I wish I could pass off my distaste for the thing as being older than the 20 and under set it's meant to cater to, but the fact is no matter how old you are, a lot of this music sux, a lot of the performers suck, Jack Black sucks and any one can tell a bad production even on a portable screen...

But there were a few moments of fun - so let's look at the good:

One of my favorite bands OK Go made a video for youtube awhile back for their song "Here It Goes Again" - in the video the boys do a million and one dance moves, runs, falls etc. on treadmills and its brilliant, and last night the boys SUCCESSFULLY mind you, recreated that video on stage. Definitely the high light of the evening. You can watch the real video at the OK Go Website.

P!nk was there and that's always fun for me... she accepted her award for the brilliant and scathing "Stupid Girls" video which I was more than happy that it won, since it actually does have a point in a sea of pointless videos and songs, and her acceptance speech was pure P!nk sleeze, she flipped her head, she sounded like a drugged out Courtney Love doing her Valley Girl schtick and then she walked off the stage. Later she returned with Lou Reed to give out the award for best Rock Video and sang a line from "Dear Mr. President" (Dear Mr. President are you a lonely boy? - "Okay, I'm done," she said) while Lou told P!nk that he loved her and he loved rock and roll and wanted MTV to play more rock videos, to which I hooted and hollered even if the mostly hip hop rapsters in attendance didn't particularly go for it.

• Xtina can and will always put on a good show, probably due to the fact that the beatch can sing circles around just about anybody, and in a classy red dress, her new Jean Harlow look, she belted out a scorcher. It wasn't amazing and jaw dropping but it was damn good.
• Al Gore mentioning he wasn't going to come until he heard Justin Timberlake was going to be there and he was bringing Sexy Back...
• Beyonce blew the shit off the roof at FIRST; the beginning of her performance for her single "Ring The Alarm" - the anti-cheating bitch fest was great. I missed her introduction and for the life of me I sat there for a minute thinking it was J. Lo; but then I heard the chorus and knew better. I loved the outfits she and her female dancers wore - a tan trenchcoat with thigh high black boots and some black lace underneath, and when she was in a chair being pushed down by hottie police guards I admit I was loving it, but then she and her dancers took out all the music and did some crazy Janet Jackson rip off - I swear it was an almost identical sequence to Miss J's "Rhythm Nation" routine; and if you're going to try and win over the masses, don't be messing with my J...

which brings me to the worst parts of the show -

• I hate Justin Timberlake with a complete passion, usually reserved for someone like Celine Dion. I never liked his straight act with Brittney, or his coming into his own muscles of Justified, and when Boobgate happened and he apologized and licked the asses of every single mogul from MTV to the NFL, I lost any respect I may have given him. I'm also pissed still that MTV took the 700 apologies he made and will put his video on any time and anywhere, while Janet who did actually apologize but then refused to apologize over and over again gets her new video to premier on BET - where would MTV be without the likes of Miss Nasty I ask you... but anyway, Justin opened the show and though I have to give extreme kudos for his anitromic dance moves at the beginning (I swear I thought it was fake, a la the Gorillaz type of staging) he then broke into song where you could barely hear him but the annoying back up singers were loud and clear, then Timbaland hit the stage so they could bring "Sexy Back", whatever is all I have to say. The song actually sucks and sounds like a Timbaland throw away at best; as for bringing Sexy Back, don't you first need a set of balls? For bringing sexy to pop music give me Robbie Williams
• Then, Shakira makes me want to gag, so her performance did nothing for me, and I have to wonder once you make a song about your biggest asset to the world, is there anywhere you can ever go again? I mean what's going to happen when she's 85 years old, are her hips going to finally start lying to her, and what of Fergie, how is she going to sing "My Lumps" and about her damn "London Bridge" once she gets to be say 33? I mean do people think about that when they record these songs? Not even on her most cranked out day would Whitney do something so foolish. Though I must admit as a personality, Fergie really is quie appealing, she seems down right nice; while Shakira can shake her frickin' hips all the way to a Brazillian jungle for all I care...
• and who or what the fuck is Jared Leto? I've heard he made movies, I've seen and heard him all over Hollywood with his new band and yet to me he still seems like a crazed freak trying to be relevant. He showed up with Amy Lee of Evanescence to give out an award and he was wearing the most god awful tight black rock pants, I know you know what I'm talking about. Then he went on and on about group sex (they were giving away the best Group Video) as if he were sexy or something. Ugh! The whole thing made me want to watch my eyes and mouth out with bleach.
• JACK BLACK SUCKS! at least as an emcee; I really don't mind him in movies, particularly the School Of Rock (though Joan Cusack is as usual a saving grace) but as a person on his own, he isn't funny, he threatened to bring the whole MTV Awards to a new level at the beginning of the show, and he did do that - a whole new level of BAD! On top of his John Belushi inspired angry man schtick, he couldn't read a prompter, he basically said all of Lil Kim's dialogue before she even hit the stage saying "You can't keep a good bitch down," which was obviously going to be Lil Kim's big cheer when she said it, but by the time she was able to say it we had heard it all.
• The Jackass! boys are not homoerotic, they are not funny, they are not cute or endearing in their pathetic little boys way, they are and always will be just jackasses.
  

You know it's a bad show when I, Bradley, am voting for Madonna to win an award - perhaps this next year will be better for music and videos in general - though I'm surprised MTV even airs this show, do they even play videos anymore?

Oh well, until next year - I'm off to listen to the music I want to hear - though be prepared that my next installment of Random CDs will actually contain a few members from the MTV awards shows - sorry no Justin allowed.

posted by swivek @ 10:35 AM