Bradley's Buzz

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

On the first day of Christmas vacation, I opened up my mail and found all of those Christmas cards I thought no one had sent including some with money! Then I sat on my ass and watched TV - oh and drank some Egg Nog laced with a whole lot of Captain Morgan.

On the second day of Christmas vacation, I downloaded 700 songs from the 50's and 60's to make the Leivas' Mom & Dad a bunch of mixers for the brand new CD/MP3 player we bought them for Christmas while drinking some Egg Nog and Captain Morgan.

On the third day of Christmas vacation, we spent the Eve with the Leivas family in Harbor City. The Leivas' parents, his fun sister, her daughter and her boyfriend, aunts and uncles, cousins and a lot of wine and Enchiladas. Oh, and I drank a lot of wine. Did I mention that? And Cliff & Juanita loved the CDs and immediatley starting playing them. Of course I made fancy pants covers for them and they were all teary eyed. Or was my vision just blurry?

On the fourth day of Christmas vacation, I opened up presents and then called everyone I've ever known and drank some Egg Nog with a tad bit of Captain Morgan in it, and watched "A Christmas Carol" and "The Ref." You know the normal Christmas movies.

On the fifth day of Christmas vacation, the Leivas and I finally headed out the door. Bound and determined to do something in this fine city. As we headed into Hollywood and I looked through the LA Guide to what's what, we headed to the Hollywood Museum which was actually closed. Which is when I came up with the brilliant plan to go to Warner Bros. Studios and take the back lot tour. I rang them up and made reservations for the sixth day of Christmas vacation. Then I drank some Captain Morgan out of my flask.

On the sixth day of Christmas vacation, the Leivas and I headed to the valley and took the Warner Bros. Studio Tour. We hopped in our little trans, took pictures as we ventured through the streets that once filmed Spider Man (the upside down kiss), Rent, Gremlins and oh so much more. Then we went to a few actual sets - one was the replica of the Friends set where I tried to pick up the cup of coffee and take a picture but got a snit from the tour guide, so I just opted to put my hands between my legs.

We also visited the exterior set of ER and I walked around just like Noah Wyle.Before we headed to a museum that housed a ton of memorabilia including Lynda Carter's Wonder Woman costume, Daisy Duke's well Daisy Dukes, and three outfits worn by my Knots Landing pals including a suit worn by Donna Mills, a strange scarf and jeans number worn by Michele Lee and Ted Shackelford's jeans and flannel plus it had an open script from the season 8 finale where Abby buries Peter's body - and it had hand scribbles in it. What a frickin' treat is all I've got to say. I mean they have the frickin' Mystery Machine there!

On the seventh day of Christmas vacation, I went shopping. Okay to be perfectly honest there was a bit of shopping at Target earlier and we did stop at Amoeba after our jaunt into the Valley but on this day, I actually took the gift certificates I got and spent like the LA playboy I am. Which reminds me I bought silk Playboy pajama bottoms. So I put them on and drank some Egg Nog and Captain Morgan.

On the eighth day of Christmas, I got mail, and in that mail were presents upon presents from my second family in Mosinee, and my brother in Wausau including some cool trinkets like a clock full of pictures of me when I was but a wee teen and a Grease ornament that plays "Hopelessly Devoted To You" while an image of Olivia lights up and changes from good Sandy to bad Sandy to Rizzo! So I turned it on, lit up the tree and had some Captain Morgan and egg nog... as the egg nog was getting thinner and thinner in my concoctions.

On the ninth day of Christmas vacation, I finished making Christmas presents for two of my pals who didn't get their stuff before Christmas because I couldn't get my shit together. Oh and I drank Egg Nog and Morgans until I moved into that bottle of wine in my fridge.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my pal Luther came over and we exchanged gifts before heading up the street to the Sunset Strip and a frickin' Blondie show which rocked my world. I didn't even want to go at first as I just saw them but this was a once in a million show, Debbie wore a crazy ass blonde wig, she sang and did her crazy Debbie moves and swore like a sailor, and for some reason had tapped into the Debbie of their last Sunset strip show way back in 1978.

Plus the opening band Miss Derringer was great. Then we headed to the bars down the street and I got schnockered the day before New Year's Eve.

Which makes you think I wouldn't sat out on the eleventh day of Christmas vacation, but no siree, I pumped myself up all day by watching movie after movie and endless episodes of The Stockard Channing Show which I just bought on DVD (who frickin' knew) and then we headed to Trunks - me, Luther and the Leivas and rang in the New Year once more.

and finally, on the twelvth day of Christmas, I drank no more Captain Morgan or wine, or even soda, I just drank water after water. So I basically spent the day peeing.

and now I am back at work and let me just say I've been a crab ass ever since.... til next time...

posted by swivek @ 9:02 AM