Bradley's Buzz

Retro Hottie Of The Week (Bastard In The Night Pt. 1)

The very first bastard in the night I ever had a relationship with was the ex-convict older brother of a friend of mine who resembled Sylvester Stallone. Tim had a better nose than ol Sly but he did have those eyes, you know the sad eyes that say "Look at me, don't you feel sorry for me for being such a bastard in the night?" Of course I did.

Tim taught me many things like how to mix Southern Comfort with kool aid to quench your sweet tooth, how to add tuna into your Mac N Cheese for that oh so Midwestern casserole feel, and how to drive a stick shift.

Tim had this great 1968 Camaro Z with Rally Sport options and that summer we took off for three weeks and lived in various camp sites and rest stops. It was actually thrilling for a 17 year old boy who thought he had found something resembling love.

As it turns out, it was lust pure young lust - Tim had the libido of a caged animal, perhaps it was those months of incarceration, or perhaps I was just a hot to trot blonde boy, but whatever it was, it was fun, fun, fun til the highway took the Camaro away.

Tim went back to his bony ass girlfriend and stopped sleeping with me, my friend Ryanne, my old high school buddy Monica, the girl who came to visit from California and of course my dearest pal at the time Michelle. It seems when you're young and in love, you're also young and in stupid. A few years later I saw Tim driving down the highway with his bony ass girlfriend in the car, I practically side swiped them trying to give him the bird.

posted by swivek @ 11:18 AM