Friday, April 28, 2006

Brought to You By...

Today's blog is brought to you by the letters B, R, A, D, the number 28... and these 7 random CDs that I'm listening to:


TINA & THE B SIDE MOVEMENT - Salvation
A fun little bluesy country bar band record from a Minneapolis mainstay. When I lived in that town everyone knew Tina and her Bsides, and I had completely forgotten about them until I stumbled across this gem at Amoeba Records.. and it was even a major label release. I guess it didn't do much or my little Miss T wasn't about to play corporate shenanigans cuz her next albums have all been fairly independent releases.

ROONEY
If you don't own this self titled album you should kick yourself in the rooney. Put together by a group of cute boys with the oldest being about 18 years old, this is not a teen boy band by any means. This is real rock and roll and real talent. You may have seen them on the OC, but ignore that. You may even recognize the lead singer as an actor in "Princess Diaries" and one of the Coppola offsprings - ignore that too. Instead just listen to the influences on the album, from the Beach Boys (I'm not kidding) to Robbie Williams (okay I am kidding).. this isn't your teenage sisters music, this is your cool older Aunt's music and it rocks.

NO DOUBT - The Singles
Hey, I was in the OC mood I guess, and who better to trash the suburban dream than Miss Gwen and her endless ska, bleeps and blurps. I can't help but to love this band of fun loving Cali kids. Walking into spider webs when you're just a girl well leave you feeling hella good... shhh.. don't speak just listen.


KIM CARNES - Barking At Airplanes
You know I love my synth pop tinged with whiskey and cigarettes so why bother looking any further than this classic 1985 album which was released a few years on CD completely remastered and with a few bonus cuts. Including one of my all time fav Kim songs "Rough Edges" plus a fairly big hit "Crazy In The Night" and the hilariously mental "Don't Pick Up The Phone (Pick Up The Phone)".

THE CONCRETES - boyyoubetterrunnow
This is one of the very first CDs I ever bought after moving to Los Angeles, and it has been on rotation ever since that day in 2000. Full of fun loving yet meaningful pop, it's hard to pin a label on the lapel of this incredible band. Known now for one of their songs being used constantly in a Target ad, their self induced pop paranoia and love for oompa loompa styled synths is a great escape from the mundane radio songs of the last 6 years. Check out any Concretes album and you'll be thrilled, though I am partial to this release.

BILLY JOEL - The Stranger
My guilty pleasure of the week I guess - I know you're thinking, "Billy Joel is your guilty pleasure but you have Kim Carnes on here?" But the fact is, you probably all know I'm a big Kim Carnes fan and it just adds to my charm but Billy? Who knew? Well, I did, I had a few of his cassettes when I was little and I always liked the late 70s, early 80s Billy songs and this is the album where I remember paying attention to him. Once again a remastered version was released recently and it was only $8 so I bought it in a heartbeat and I really like it. The long and scene stealing "Scenes From An Italian Restaraunt" and the cool title track plus it has hit after hit - "Only The Good Die Young", "Movin' Out", "She's Always A Woman" and "Just The Way You Are" and most importantly, Amy Cissell idolizes Billy and since I idolize my petite pal with large bosoms, I too love Billy Joel.

and the major hit of the week - the re-released, remastered, complete 2 disc, limited edition of one of my favorite albums of all time!

KIRSTY MacCOLL - Titanic Days



I had most of Kirsty's music on CD including the original release of Titanic Days from 1994 but when I saw this was at the store and realized the bonus features, I just about peed myself. No kidding. (Like you don't believe me). Kirsty was one of the best and most prolific of all female musicians to hit the scene. Unfortunately she only released her own music sporadically as she spent most of her time as wife and mother, but when she would come out with something, I was there. This is by far my favorite album she ever did, full of angst and pain, she called it her "divorce album" and now not only is it in pristine sound with liner notes, there is a whole second disc with remixes, bonus cuts never released and a few other fun stuff. Buy this album before its too late - you'll love the vindictive bastard who terrorizes his victims in "Can't Stop Killing You", and the angst ridden title track, the cool soothe of "Just Woke Up" the angry pain of "So Ho Square" and the sarcasm that oozes from Kirsty in fast and furious delivery like a female and slightly happier Morrissey.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Shoot Em Up


Just one short month ago my new favorite tv network Oxygen started airing my new favorite tv show - "Suburban Shootout" - a hilarious romp through suburban England! I can't even believe how brilliant the show is. Now Oxygen for some insane reason has decided not to repeat the 8 episodes they recently aired. First, they moved the time on me from 9 pm to 11 pm and then decided to air double episodes instead of repeating the ones from the week before! Ugh! It got to me as I missed two of the 8 and I just know that is 49 minutes of bliss, I may never see.

For anyone who hasn't seen the show, it is great. Lovely Joyce Hazeldine moves into the small quiet suburb of Little Stempington because her hottie hubby Jeremy is the new police chief. Not even has Joyce unpacked before not one but two different housewives show up to give her a bundle of "Welcome to the Neighborhood." While the two women run upstairs, Jeremy declares the towns ladies are so lovely. Meanwhile, upstairs Pam is getting the shit kicked out of her by her rival, it seems there is a turf war in Little Stempington and it's between Camilla Diamond and Barbara Du Prez. Camilla owns most of the turf and used to own the old police cheif and she can't wait to get her hands on the new one - so she must first make pals with Joyce. How does she do that? Well, easy, Camilla and her gang take Joyce over to the Wicker Barn, Camilla hands over a black box with a red button politely asks Joyce to press it and BAM! the Wicker Barn is history and Joyce is the one and only suspect in that nasty "Little Wicker Barn thing back there." From there it just goes up and up with Joyce conned into selling extra strength estrogen patches for Camilla and having a French drug dealer fall into lust with her. Yes, the quiet suburbs haven't been this fun since Valene Ewing moved to Knots Landing... or I guess there is that other little show on ABC.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Logo A Go go

I love my little gay channel Logo, and ever since it came into my life, I have been badgering them to pick up a little soap opera I call Carlton Heights but that's not the point of this little blurb; instead this is a kudos to Logo for actually finding me new music to listen to.

Ever since the channel began they would show videos in between their line up of movies and talk. I love finding new little hidden gems and with the vision of video, I know just what album and band to look for. Of course I will forgive Logo for making me look like a dumbass, since whenever I find one of these "new" bands I discover they've been around for five years and the videos Logo is showing is from at least a year ago. But none the less, what they have done is set me up with some killer tunes.

In the past I discovered the fun and oh so catchable, yet strangley psychotic vocals of The Ditty Bops, introduced to me by the bloodletting of the video for "Wishful Thinking" which found our two dittys trying to off one another in gruesome little ways. Also found on Logo was Brite Eyes and his ingenius acoustic sets including what has now become the theme song for the Leivas and I - "The First Day Of My Life." Of course both bands had been around forever but no one bothered telling me. Incidentally Brite Eyes is a one man outfit, think Magnetic Fields or Swivek!

Last night I was perusing through the upper regions of my cable channel when I came upon Logo's video show. To my genuine surprise I became hooked on a number of tracks. The new notables in last night's video arcade of happiness “I Like The Way” by the Bodyrockers, which ended up as a Diet Coke commercial which is probably why I find it so refreshing, but it was The Gossip that really grilled and thrilled me. The Gossip is a lo fi indie band led by a super sassy and very very very talented singer named Betty - I fell in love.

You can check out the videos at http://www.logoonline.com/ and see what all my fuss is about… for now, I think I’m off to Tower Records to see how much more in debt I can become.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The William Hung Curse

A few months ago I was perusing one of my favorite sites www.knotslanding.net (I know obsessive) when some German dude made the bold announcement he had just found a really strange Lisa Hartman cover – the Swivek version of “Where The Boys Are.” He was not very impressed with my take on the song, and perhaps had it not been I who did the cover, I would be slightly irked as well… if I were a Lisa Hartman fan (:0)) but as it turned out, I informed this neo well do-er that though he felt it was his duty to inform the world of Knots Landing and Lisa Hartman lovers that someone had pissed all over his beloved’s song; I knew there were people who actually liked my version. If not for the sheer overall camp of the whole thing. As it turned out, I was correct numerous people responded on the fact they loved it. The guy stuck to his German guns but informed us that his wife thought it was good and would be great in gay disco clubs. Well, no shit huh?

But the good news of the whole thing meant that people were actually rushing over to www.flexiblerecords.com. my pal Patrick’s internet label (and CD label if you got a few bucks in cash).

And now today, after months and months of waiting, I finally got the email I’ve been waiting for. I belong to Yahoo groups for just about every little thing that I love – from Laura Branigan to porn; it’s all there to enjoy. One of my groups is the Rachel Sweet group. Now you all know how I love that pixie with the big ass voice, which is why I went ahead and did a little cover of her song “Billy & The Gun.” Opting to restrain from the guitar and piano ballad she did so brilliantly in 1981, I went for an electro version with blips and guitar kicks in just the right touches, to mostly emphasize the strange and moody lyrics but to also keep it as far away from the original as possible. Well, it worked and I thought it worked well. As did Patrick of Flexible who with four or five Swivek songs ready to go for an EP decided instead to put “Get Up On It” and the “Billy” cover as a single last August.

Well, today I got the email from a bereft Yahoo Rachel Sweet lister who informed the group that "Okay here's something interesting lol". Now unless “lol” means love only love, I don’t think I like this particular poster.

Once again I had to send out an email claiming my own ingenious. I asked this poster if I was correct in assuming he did not like the cover version. I also told everyone that I thought it was well done, slightly moody and ethereal. I also thought that a cover version should not be a carbon copy of the original and thought the Swivek version added a fresh new take on the song. I finally ended up telling them all that perhaps I was a tad biased seeing as it was my band that put the cover out there.

Oh, it’s so hard to be detested and yet I keep going and going. I believe one would call that the William Hung curse.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Miss Piggy's (and Bradley's) Guide To Life


A few years ago, my pal Patrick bought me one of the best and most rare of all books - the Miss Piggy's Guide To Life. A book written by that oh so stylish and talented pig that takes you through the journey of what it's like to be a top notch celebrity who has dabbled in modelling, singing, acting and eating. Ironically, (I think it's ironic) as I read through the book, I realized a lot of it really spoke to me; and when someone else who read it announced, "You do live your life like Miss Piggy," I realized that pig was onto something.

To celebrate the Muppets 50th Anniversary, and a special bash at the Radio & Television Museum who will be airing Miss Piggy's first (and only) variety special from 1982, I thought I would share some of Miss Piggy's more random and thought provoking guides to life...

On parties:
"A fairly common social gaffe committed by well meaning people is to call up on the day of the party to inquire if there is anything they can bring. Never do this. It suggests that you think your hosts are not capable of shopping for themselves or are the sort of people who are so hopelessly absentminded they are even likely to have forgotten something important - like dessert."

Breaking the ice:
"While you and your hosts are waiting for latecomers to arrive, it is up to you to make conversation. Remember, your hosts don't want to talk about their interests, or their house or their hobbies and occupations. They already know all about those. What they want to hear is about you. Their anecdotes and jokes are pretty familiar to them by now; yours are fresh."

Excercise:
"the object of exercise is to achieve your beauty aspirations without perspiration."
everyone "should include a regular sports program in thier schedule. In most areas, one or more television stations offer a good selection of such programs to choose from."

"I find that a vigorous round of shopping, at least one store an hour, is both stimulating and refreshing. (A word of warning, if you are a little out of condition, I would begin with some light window shipping and build up gradually from there.)

GOOD LOOKS YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE BORN WITH
For the "thin" look - buy clothes two sizes too big
For the "glamorous" look - choose plain looking dining companions.

On Money:
"Many people think money is something to be set aside for a rainy day. But honestly, how much money do you really need for a dozen or so hours of inclement weather?"

"Large amounts of paper money are a fire hazard, and the prudent individual sees to it that major accumulations are avoided. Although purse blazes are a relatively uncommon occurence, there is just no reason to be smug or complacent about the potential threat."
(That goes for wallets too)

"You also want to make doubly sure that your checkbook is balanced - that is, that the colors of your checkbook, your checkbook cover and your purse do not clash."

ON COOKING:
"Consult Mrs. Bell's wonderful "cookbook", Place your order, When the doorbell rings, take the food from the delivery man.. and serve."

BIRTHDAYS:
"The celebration of une's birthday is too critical a matter to be left to chance. Long in advance of the date, you should take advantage of the opportunity presented by visits to friends' homes to unobtrusively circle the date on their calender and write a teensy reminder. Whenever making appointments or dates, always use your birthday as a convenient benchmark. "I will see you for lunch on the twenty-third," you might remark, casually adding, "which, as you may recall is only forty-four days before my birthday." A week before your birthday, a formal announcement should be sent.

ON ROMANCE:
"What to do if a man you like, and who likes you, still wants to date others?"
Although this is by definition a somewhat emotional matter, you should approach it in a calm, reasonable, mature way. What i would do is calmly, reasonably and maturely explain to him that if he values his life, he should change is behavior.

"Is there a 'cure' for a broken heart?"
Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.

and finally, I'll leave you with a letter to the divine Miss P from "Bleacher Bum":

"Dear Miss Piggy,
If a base runner is struck by a foul ball that bounces off a wall into fair territory and hits him, is he out?"

Dear Bleacher Bum,
Well, I don't know. I suppose if it hit him in the head, he would at the very least be woozy for a bit. What is this person running from? And what is so foul about that ball? Did someone drop it in something messy? Moi needs facts!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

..and we're back


After a hiatus as long as "The Sopranos", my little soap opera Carlton Heights is back in circulation. After months of ignoring the residents of that famous (or will be famous) seaside community, the eighth episode has finally been written - "Make A Move On Me" named after the Olivia Newton-John song from 1981 finds one of our heroes, put upon husband Marty Mitchell teetering on the edge as his husband Ronald and the town slut Aidan begin to openly flaunt their affair, town matriarch Ruth Carlton is determined to keep her nurse maid Haley away from new comer Johnny Belducci, while Haley is equally determined to get Johnny to make some moves on her, distraught Larry Bustamante tries to find endless activities to keep his mind off of his missing children, and Dylan Irving tries to keep focused on writing his new book despite the constant reminders of the secrets in Carlton Heights, just waiting to be exposed.

It's all so dramatic, it's all so humorous, it's all so bradley....

Only five more episodes to go until the ultimate in season finales - and for all the fans of the show (hello Amy and Michelle), I know you will be anxiously waiting our next installment, so I'm off to cool the flames that will be episode #9 - "Ashes To Ashes."

Friday, April 21, 2006

Almost Charlie


Looking for good music you’ve never heard of? Well I’ve got a treat for you – check out Almost Charlie, a German band with just a hint of Belle & Sebastian, perhaps some James Blunt and a little Rufus Wainwright thrown in. A simple acoustic style rendering of awesome proportions is found on the album Loving Counterclockwise.

The best part of this insanely talented band is the fact all the lyrics are written by Charles Mason of New York. A hilarious and fun loving man from New York City, who Swivek fans may recognize as the lyricist of the songs “Cocksure” and “Come Alive”.

Just like me, who has never officially met Charlie, neither have the boys of Almost Charlie, but to incorporate the man who doesn’t play any instruments of his own, the band included him in their moniker.


You can find out all about the band and their story, and listen to the songs, buy the album etc. all from their own website at www.almostcharlie.com. I promise you won’t be disappointed, I mean with the band’s incredible talent and delivery and Charlie’s incredible sense of irony, pain and humor, you can’t go wrong when you’re loving counterclockwise.

Songs to definitely check out include the title track, “I Can’t Be Your Friend”, “Part Hurricane” and “Roberta Did”.


Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Apple From The Tree

I have inherited a trait from my dear Mommy that I'm not so proud of. No, I'm not talking about the cute as a button blonde good looks or the endless supply of charm or even the ability to head to a bar with 75 cents and come home drunk as a skunk with $1.50 in my pocket - no for those are all traits I'm quite proud to carry. The trait that causes me some heartache however is my total disregard for the dollar. You see I love shopping, and so does my mother. Shopping for just about anything except groceries excites me to no end. But the most important shopping excursions are the clothes and the music.

For both it isn't the brand new CDs or labels that get me excited, but the endless possiblities you find at a thrift store or used record store. I spend hours and hours and grab every single thing I think I need; because, well it's cheap. That is until I bring my endless finds to the check out counter and realize I just spent the last of my money. But hey, at least I have treasures upon treasures to gaze at, to try on and to listen to. And aren't those hours of happiness much more important than a few measely missed student loan payments?

So with that in mind, here's what prompted this whole post. On Saturday, I went to Tower Records to buy my beloved Pat Benatar releases, and after an hour of looking around, I found a Blondie CD single of "Rapture Riders" a fab new hybrid meshing Blondie's "Rapture" with the Doors "Riders On The Storm." But after more shopping, I ended up with 10 CDs in my hand. I realized since these were not used CDs and I would be paying retail, I put them all back except for Pat and Blondie. I was proud of myself - I had stood my ground and bought only what I needed.

That is until my Leivas asked if I was up for a trip to Amoeba Records! Of course I was and that's when all hell broke loose. I won't tell you the 16 CDs I had in my hand or the endless hours spent looking through 45s, vinyl and CDs; but I will tell you because Amoeba was having a sale on their 45s at a half off price; I spent and spent until I realized one more student loan would go unpaid..

but for anyone interested, here is the latest and greatest finds I found -

Music Purchases 75,004 -
Wheatus CD - "Too Soon Monsoon"
Blondie CD - signed "No Exit" 7.99 can you even believe it?
Pat Benatar remastered CDs - "In The Heat Of The Night", "Crimes Of Passion" & "Precious Time"
Gorillaz CD
Suede CD

Vinyl LPs - I love em - EG Daily "Wild Child" (she does the voice of Tommy on Rugrats and has sung numerous 80s movie soundtrack songs for Better Off Dead & Summer School and she's Lauren in my fav movie Valley Girl); and Sheena Easton's A Private Heaven with "Strut" and "Sugar Walls" - I'm on a Sheena kick lately - don't judge!

and then the ultimate finds - the 45s I will never listen to but couldn't live without

Berlin "No More Words" with Picture Sleeve;
Blondie - "X Offender" on Private Stock (their first 45 ever),
Denis - German with picture sleeve; Hanging on the Telephone US with picture sleeve (my favorite cover ever), Heart of Glass US with picture sleeve, Dreaming UK with PS; Atomic US with PS, The Tide Is High UK PS; Rapture UK PS
Belinda Carlisle & Freda Payne "Band Of Gold" with picture sleeve
Go Go's "Our Lips Are Sealed" with picture sleeve
Debbie Harry - "The Jam Was Moving" US (perfect condition and original Chrysalis sleeve), US "In Love With Love" with PS; "Brite Side" UK Poster sleeve edition
Human League - "Don't You Want Me" with US PS
INXS - "Don't Change" US with PS
Cyndi Lauper - "True Colors" US with PS (and a rare B-side!) and "Change Of Heart" US with PS
Missing Persons - "Destination Unknown" with PS; and "Walking In LA" no picture sleeve
Juice Newton - "Angel Of The Morning" with premo picture sleeve
Plimsouls - "Now" (they're on the Valley Girl soundtrack)
Pretenders "Message Of Love" with UK picture sleeve
Rick Springfield - "Love Is Alright Tonite" with PS
Quarterflash - "Take another picture" with PS
Tracey Ullman - UK "My Guy" with PS
Kim Wilde - "Child Come Away" UK with PS
Kim Wilde - "Love Blonde" UK with PS


now if you've made it through this list, you're either impressed or think I'm just plain crazy, but either way, you're probably just glad you weren't with me while I was shopping.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Viva Blach! Vegas


So a few weeks ago, I took a road trip with my beloved Leivas - we headed to Sin City - the town that never sleeps, the desert inn for gamblers and whores; Vegas, baby, Vegas.

The whole reason for the trip was to see my little sister Denice and her husband Matt. LIttle did I know Denice would end up in quickie marriage with George Clooney! (see picture)

Matt had never been to Vegas, and Denice had been once before. What Denice didn't tell me is she didn't like it much the first time and what I didn't tell Denice is the one and only other time I had been there, I didn't like it much either... oh well, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, I guess...

The problem is Denice and I are essentially Jacobsons, which means we want to run around and see everything in as little time as humanly possible. This isn't always such a great thing. The fact that Denice & Matt were at a hotel on the strip and the Leivas and I were at the Gold Coast a ways away didn't help either. But we did get to see most of the attractions, yes the Belagio's fountains and every single frickin' casino in between. Though I have to admit my new fav hotel is the Mirage and the super uber extended brunch didn't sway my vote in any way.

By the second day, I was so fed up I just had to tell someone about how exhausting I found the place. Luckily, Oprah was there to listen. She really did ask me some probing questions though.


Despite walking five hundred miles, not really drinking as much as I would've preferred and losing some money on my new obsession, black jack - it was fun to see my baby sister and to hang out with her (as you can see even our brother Jimmy showed up!) not to mention we did get some fairly good pictures and I awakened my love for Bingo - that's right Bingo! I'm going to be one of those old men sitting around smoking and drinking at the Bingo table bitching to anyone and everyone within ear shot when some young whipper snapper whose never played Bingo keeps winning!



Of course all the mad rush of the Vegas lifestyle took its toll on us, and I for one was not about to smile for the endless paparazzi that had been stalking us all weekned long!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

New Bubbatunes

You all know how much I love my compilations, which is how the whole Bubbatunes collections got started. Taking my favorite artists and putting together the songs I think should be on CD together, is fun! Then as I started getting more serious and making full booklets for the CDs including artwork, credits and chart information I thought I should start giving them catalog numbers. Now with the onset of being able to transfer vinyl to CD, I've even been able to make CDR issues of albums that have never or may never see the light of day on CD.

So with the bubbatunes back story upon us, I thought I'd announce this week's latest bubbatunes releases. We have three exciting new compilations, I have been listening to and yes, they all have artwork and credits.


bub 57 LAURA BRANIGAN - Help You Say Goodbye
It's so sad that this woman with the enormous pipes is gone, but her music will last forever and now it will be forever immortalized in a bubbatunes collection. Titled after the set's closing track "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye", the song is very touching and very sweet, and in fact with all three verses dealing with saying goodbye and its inclusion of a death, I'm surprised it hasn't been a country song yet. The highlight of this comp to me isn't the singles, though they're here ("Gloria", "Solitaire", "Self Control") but a little ditty from her Branigan 2 album called "Deep In The Dark." The song is actually set to the music of "Der Kommisar" with English lyrics, but it was hard to find (thank you all the Branigan fans on the yahoo groups) and it's something everyone should hear. The set also includes Laura's much better versions of Alphaville's "Forever Young", Michael Bolton's "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You" and Celine Dion's "Power Of Love" - and actually Laura recorded the latter two before the more famous counterparts.

Track list:
01 Gloria
02 The Lucky One
03 Maybe Tonight
04 Imagination
05 Solitaire
06 Shattered Glass
07 Forever Young
08 Deep In The Dark
09 How Am I Supposed To Live Without You
10 Self Control
11 Hold Me
12 Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow
13 Spanish Eddie
14 Power Of Love
15 Dim All The Lights
16 Foolish Lullabye
17 Moonlight On Water
18 How Can I Help You Say Goodbye


bub 58 BLONDIE - On The Balcony
I know I make far too many Blondie & Benatar compilations but is it my fault they have so many great songs? This collection was inspired by my pal Amy Cissell who said she would like to have Blondie songs that weren't hits, just to hear some of the more classic sounds Debbie & The Boys had to offer (and thus running out to buy Blondie for herself of course), so after many months of planning I came up with On The Balcony, the Blondie album cuts. Using songs from all eight of their albums, I think I've done a pretty good job to represent Blondie to the ones unfamiliar, but more importantly I made a really great Blondie collection of MY favorite album cuts.

Track list:
01 Angels On The Balcony
02 Will Anything Happen
03 Accidents Never Happen
04 I Didn't Have The Nerve To Say No
05 Little Girl Lies
06 Go Through It
07 Pretty Baby
08 Detroit 442
09 Shayla
10 Walk Like Me
11 The Dream's Lost On Me
12 Living In The Real World
13 Kung Fu Girls
14 Danceway
15 I'm On E
16 Rules For Living
17 Do The Dark
18 I Know But I Don't Know
19 A Shark In Jets Clothing
20 Die Young Stay Pretty
21 11:59
22 For Your Eyes Only
23 Look Good In Blue
24 Just Go Away


bub 59 SWIVEK - Blanche & Wither
The highlight of the bunch, a Swivek compilation! Yes, that's right for the first time in history, Bubbatunes is releasing a Swivek comp not available by any other means. Actually, the reason this isn't an actual Swivek release on our regular label is the fact there are some of these songs that just can't be released, legal reasons, people saying "No" etc. but that shouldn't stop the regular fan from having them now should it? So with Blanche & Wither, I give you a bunch of b-sides, rare songs never released (some not really complete or just left for dead), some never before heard and some that should be known. The track list is done in chronological order from when they were recorded starting in 1999 and going through last October.

Track list:
01 Blanche & Wither (a rare song from 1999 but was released on an EP)
02 Allright Now (bside to Cherry Go Go)
03 We Live For Love (a bad, bad Benatar cover)
04 Zombie Dance (Come For You) (never released)
05 Thoughts Of You (Fly) (bside to Wish)
06 Just Go (bside to Spastic Valentino but written for Bruised album)
07 Teenage Dream (Cool Kids) (bside to Who We Are)
08 Boyfriend (bside to Spastic Valentino)
09 You Don't Know (never released)
10 The End Of The World (demo) (never released and not really finished)
11 Bee Boo (not released)
12 Make A Level Sunrise (original version) (different from album version)
13 California Boy (never released)
14 Ecstasy (never released)
15 Seafish (never released)
16 Island Of Lost Souls (Blondie cover never released)
17 In The Flesh (another Blondie cover never released)
18 The One To Fall (bside to Where The Boys Are)
19 Help Her (never released)
20 Crypt Keeper (from Halloween Compilation last year)

Monday, April 17, 2006

Today's Music Rotation

I realized a while ago I can listen to about 7 CDs while working my fingers to the bone. So every few days I try to rotate out my CDs, but sometimes, as I get so busy I don’t completely listen as well as I should and some CDs stay a little longer. So we’ll see how long these last but for this week, our seven CDs have me off to a roaring start with my musical menu full of bite –

First up we have Wheatus – Too Soon Monsoon, a weekend purchase from Amoeba. This is the band’s third album and I can’t get enough of them. I first heard Wheatus when I only had a radio in my little car and KROQ would play “Teenage Dirtbag” – a classic song in any context. With vocal inflection similar to Nick Gilder and the coolest blend of pop alternative rock, I love this band! bought that album and I had forgotten they were around until recently. I’m still waiting to buy Suck Fony; a send up CD to their former label that includes a cover of Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” but for pure fun listening pleasure I think Too Soon Monsoon is going to get me through okay.

Suede’s first album is also on rotation this week. At one time I had all of Suede’s music but as money problems hit in the good ol CdA, Idaho my CD collection went bye bye to Hastings used CD department, so finally I found a copy of this classic CD including one of my all time fav Suede songs “So Young.”

The first Gorillaz album found its way into my CD player this morning as well. Having just watched the Brit Awards yesterday, I was in the mood for some collective trance dance moments and who better to deliver than this band of cartoons?

Of course the Pat Benatar Remasters are here as well. You know I couldn’t wait to buy them. The minute I posted my blog on Saturday I was off and running to Tower. The disappointment of the horrible artwork – they didn’t do anything at all. The art is exactly as it was when the original CDs were issued in like 1985 and there’s no liner notes, no extra tracks but let me tell you the sound is amazing! All my favorite album tracks from In The Heat Of The Night, Crimes Of Passion and Precious Time are here, bringing back so many memories.

Two years ago I made myself a bubbatunes version of In The Heat Of The Night for its 25th anniversary, so this weekend I redid that CD to include the new remastered sound of the original 10 tracks. Of course the Bradley 25th Anniversary version includes extra tracks – 7 in fact – Live versions of “Come On Let’s Go” (a song Pat never recorded), an early live version of “Just Like Me” , (which ended up two years later on Precious Time), both from an early 1980 concert for the In The Heat Of The Night tour, 1979 live version of “I Need A Lover”, Pat’s demo of Roy Orbison’s “Crying” and her very first single and B-side “Day Gig”/”Last Saturday” a cabaret single she did in Virginia in 1974.

Then onto the glory that is Crimes Of Passion and Precious Time. Oh how these albums bring back memories and now with its full sound, you can hear the genius that was the rock goddess Benatar. Perhaps I’ll do full reviews of them a little later.

Also rotating in the old Sony is Linda Ronstadt’s 1980 “new wave” album Mad Love – I love this album with its Cretones written and played new wave songs. The title song is a kick as are the singles “How Do I Make You” and “Hurt So Bad” plus it has her version of Elvis Costello’s “Girls Talk” which partly inspired the Swivek remake a few years ago.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The $1400 Cleaning


In the video for "Anxiety (Get Nervous)" Pat Benatar addresses one of her greatest fears - going to the dentist. As she sits in the waiting room and numerous other patients are driven to madness, our girl slowly goes crazy herself - her hair gets bigger, the video gets darker until by the time she is taken into the office her hair is out to there and her 80s jacket has become a pseudo straight jacket. It's hilarious, it's fun, it's downright scary.

I, too have a problem with dentists - my whole life my teeth have been nothing but trouble. Everytime I go to the dentist, I end up getting major work done. Even a routine cleaning turns into something called a "deep cleaning" which involves numbing my gums and having my jaw open for hours at a time. It also involves numerous repeat visits which just makes it all worse.



But after getting my teeth "deep" cleaned part two yesterday, and a filling filled, (I had a cavity under an existing cavity that was already taken care of... see what I mean); I realize perhaps Pat wasn't so upset about the actual experience of going to the dentist but it was the frickin' bill she was going to get that had her in such paranoia.

Speaking of Pat and bills, I just found out (late!) that on April 4th when I was spending my dough on the new Pink, The Sounds and Morrissey albums, another crop of album classics was re-released in fantastic remastered version - Pat's first three albums In The Heat Of The Night, Crimes Of Passion and Precious Time are all now neatly available. Needless to say, after this bout with the dentist it may take another 20 years before I can afford to buy them.


My little visit to the sadistic people of teeth and its subsequent repeat visits will cost me $1400 frickin' dollars and that's above what my crappy insurance already shells out to the office. Now for frickin' $1400 I should have bright whites that are as big and glorious as an Osmonds, or even Pat's big whites (incidentally to tie all this together Pat's publishing company is called Big Tooth Music) - I just can't believe for almost $2000 I sit and get polked and prodded; and lock jaw; and the sweats. No wonder by the end of the video for "Anxiety" Pat has just decided to turn around and work for the dental office - it's probably the only way to pay them off.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Thank You For Being A Friend

While perusing through www.televisionwithoutpity.com I came across a thread about the best TV burns or putdowns. Being a big fan of sarcasm and television I decided to look through it all. It struck me that the ones that made me laugh the most were from those oh so dainty old broads known as The Golden Girls. I love that show and no matter how many times I see an episode, it always cracks me up and usually leaves me in tears. So seeing as everyone loves a good laugh and old ladies, I thought I’d share a few of the quotes I found:

Blanche: Mel and I were meant to be together.
Sophia: But your thighs weren't.
Blanche: I won't stand for this (she gets up and starts to walk out)
Sophia: Take it, Dorothy!
Dorothy: But I'll bet you'll lie down for it!

Blanche: I tried giving up sex.
Dorothy: I guess you fell off the wagon.
Sophia: And on to a naval base!

Dorothy to Blanche: "Oh back off, Blanche. Not everyone has been designated by the coast guard as a friendly port"

Sophia to Blanche: "Beat it, you fifty year old mattress!"

Blanche: "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to sink into a hot tub with just enough water to, barely cover my perky bussoms"
Sophia: "You're only going to sit in an inch of water?"

Blanche to Sophia: "Well what do you know? Sophia has a past!"
Sophia: "That's right, but unlike yours I didn't need pennicilin to get through it"

Blanche: I never had to pay a penny in backtaxes. I have a way with auditors. The last time I was audited I even got money back from the government.
Sophia: Blanche, it's not a refund when the auditor leaves two twenties on your nightstand.

Rose [about her boyfriend Miles]: He makes me feel foolish. I don't even feel comfortable telling him St. Olaf stories.
Dorothy: I want to know exactly what he said to make you feel that way.

Blanche: Mel makes me feel young and beautiful and special. When we're together we laugh a lot.
Sophia: Why wouldn't you, you're both naked.

Blanche: Oh Dorothy, I just talked to somebody back home, and they are doing the most horrible thing! They are tearing down the most important building in Blanche Devereaux's family history.
Dorothy: Oh my God, they're tearing down Mattress World.

Rose: Why are you both wearing black? Did you just get back from a funeral?
Dorothy: No Rose, we were singing back-up for Johnny Cash.

Blanche: I've never been so humiliated in my life.
Dorothy: What about the time you lost the key to your handcuffs and had to go with that guy on his mail route.

Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Like no one else.

BLANCHE: What was your first impression of me?
ROSE: I thought you wore too much makeup and were a slut. [beat] But I was wrong... you don't wear that much makeup.

BLANCHE: Southern girls develop faster than Northern girls. It must be the heat.
DOROTHY: No, I think it's the gin.

Blanche: Well, you know, I have been told I bear a striking resemblence to Miss Cheryl Ladd. Although my bosoms are perkier.
Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down from a trapeze!

Rude restaurant customer: "Aren't you going to tell me to have a nice day?"
Dorothy: "I don't care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day."

Blanche: If I wasn't such a lady I would deck you.
Dorothy: Try it and you'll be on your back so fast you'll think you're on a date.

Blanche: But I've been disrobing in front of Dr. Kagan for three years. Why would he ask you for a date when he's seen the Promised Land?
Dorothy: I don't know--too many squatters?

And now I'm off to watch some Golden Girls!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Soon There Will Be No One

Referring to the film Brokeback Mountain, someone I know said, "But that's 1963, there weren't gay people then."

Now as I wipe the tears from my eyes from laughing so damn hard, it occurs to me that soon I will have no one left to talk to. For every little naive comment that makes me laugh there are ten stupid comments that piss me off. Between old pals I thought I knew so well and their relentless persistance in supporting a moron in the highest office, or the constant email chains declaring how much they love me followed by tasteless "jokes" about AIDS viruses, gay cowboys and just about anything else I don't find terribly funny, I realize I will only have about two people I can talk to.

Perhaps I'm being paranoid, or perhaps (gulp!) I'm getting old, but I really fear that one day every one I know is going to open up their mouth and say something I find so apprehensible, I will never want to hear them speak again. Or I'll get just one too many awful jokes not even disguised as blatant discrimination and I will have to just cancel my email address.

But then I try to be upbeat and think to myself, "Isn't it my duty to show these people they are wrong. To educate the uneducated..." but then that seems like so much work and I realize that just like God made me gay, he made these people stupid and who am I to mess with God's plan?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Is It Better To Have Not?



You may find it hard to believe but I'm not really a soap opera addict, I was never into was "Dallas" or "Dynasty" or "Melrose Place" or any other of those - it was only my beloved "Knots Landing" and after that show ended in 1993, numerous other night time soaps would pop up from time to time. None of them excited me except for a summer fling with "2000 Malibu Road" in 1993 but that had more to do with its starring Lisa Hartman Black than anything else. But when Fox announced the arrival of "Pasadena" I was finally excited. But as scheduling would have it, by the time I realized the show was on it had been put on hiatus.

A few months ago, Soapnet acquired the rights to "Pasadena" and I was finally able to watch the show. From the very first moment of the pilot I was hooked. In fact, the first episode is definitely one of the best pilot episodes ever done. Brimming with mystery and misery, I was hooked.

The whole series tells the story of the Greenlees, calling them an affluent family would not be doing it justice. This is Pasadena, California and the Greenlees own the town. The rich and famous have nothing on this family who run the newspaper and seem to own the cops and the entire Pasadena area. The whole thing begins when 15 year old Lily, home alone in her parent's mansion finds herself looking at an intruder. The guy holds up a locket asking the scared Lily if she knows the woman telling her that it was her family who killed her, right before shooting himself in the head, in front of her, in their living room!

It just gets better from there - told from Lily's perspective we are to believe this is the story before the "scandals, the murder" etc. Lily ends up befriending poor Henry Bellow, an out of town transplant on a scholarship at Lily's prestigious high school. No sooner has Henry settled into class before he is informing Lily of all of her family's corrupt secrets.

The series follows the main storyline of a muder mystery - who is the woman that was killed 20 years ago? Is she buried in the Greeley's back lawn? Which Greeley killed her? How could all these people be lying all these years?

What transcends is a very real, very disturbing story. I had orignally watched 7 episodes and then missed a couple and had to go back to get them on DVD. So finally last night I had a PASADENATHON. Watching episodes the last 6 episodes in a row. Sprinkled here and there with a bit of comedy, but mostly a very dark tale about an affluent family, with much too much loyalty and not nearly enough love.

After the final installment finally ended, I realized how affected I actually was. While watching "Knots Landing" and its fairly realistic interpretations of the modern family lives, I always knew I was watching a television show. But "Pasadena" felt like I was actually sitting at one of their family dinners and let me tell you that dinner left a bad taste in my mouth.

Through out the series, we are reminded that the "lies" Henry is putting into Lily's head - the lies that turn her against her own family - are brought on by Henry's obsession when he who has nothing but a brother, sees all that Lily has and wants it for himself.

The truth is much more sordid than that for Henry is really only trying to find a family he never had and the Greeleys' is by far not the family he even wants. Once the murder mystery begins to dissolve and both Lily and Henry realize what has gone down, the truth comes out that the entire family is an evil bunch who pride themselves on appearances and influence more so than love or anything substantial.

The cast is amazing and the writing is terrific, but what horrified me to no end (and still does today obviously) is the fact that these could be real people. People who would go to the lengths of murdering a best friend, hiding the body, framing someone for the murder, terrorize a teenage kid, ruin his entire life and then kiss and hug before having a "civilized" dinner where everything is wiped away by the time dessert is served.

Coming from the middle class or is it the upper lower middle class, I never once had the opportunity to push people around with my grandfather's influence, there is no trust fund, any house I buy I will have to pay for, my education I had to work for, and through it all I had my family. A family with nothing in terms of financial freedom but a loving family.

In the case of "Pasadena" the final thoughts left are if you knew your family had some horrible dark secret would you turn on them in order to do what was morally right? It's a hard decision and one most would say, "Absolutely not, you can't pick your family but you can be loyal..." etc. but when this is the family and there is much hatred so that all you have is loyalty I have to wonder.

Now I realize this is all just television, but in this rare instance, this television show has affected me so strangely. Perhaps if the show had a better ending, or more justice I wouldn't feel so crappy. But the fact is the haves kept what they had, the have nots didn't get justice and in fact left with even less than what they had when they were introduced.

In real life, this is probably exactly what would happen but in the case of a TV show, I think I want justice. Rarely is a TV show about the bad people and I've discovered that's exactly what "Pasadena" was, these were bad people. I rooted for Catherine (lily's mother) to get what I felt she deserved and in one riveting scene it looked like it may happen but alas it all came together in a completely different way.

Incidentally, Dana Delaney was great in her role - I know women like this, I know families like this - perhaps that is what made it all so disturbing.

So I have to say if being in a power packed family like the Greeley's leaves you feeling so bad, I have just renewed my pride in being born "poor white trash" - Give me Valene Clements Ewing and her middle class neighbors any day for as realistic as TV can be, I prefer to live in a little plastic bubble full of fritters, happiness and wondering how I'm going to come up with the money to pay my dentist bill.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

21 Years Ago In Knots Landing...

21 years ago in Knots Landing..

Valene was finally recovering from her bout with the Verna Ellers while Detective Karen Mackenzie was hot on the trail of Dr. Ackerman, finally believing Val's earlier claims that her babies hadn't died in child birth, in other places Cathy and the bible thumping lunatic Joshua had tied the knot, and Laura was about to have some very fun little chats with Greg's mother Ruth after all, nice girls don't quip ...

and they don't steal other women's babies.. but they do leave people talking about their barely there wedding dress and they do go after evil doctors and occasionally, they bonk the beejesus out of their investigative reporter boyfriends!

Okay…I'm practically ready to pop some escodine after rewatching the emotional upheaval I’ve just witnessed known as "Four, No Trump" so I feel I must, simply MUST comment on all that I saw with my baby blue slits… so let's revisit April 11, 1985 shall we?



Episode #126 (06.26) "FOUR, NO TRUMP"
Original Airdate: Thursday, April 11, 1985

We begin with an aerial view of what Las Vegas looked like in 1985. Deep inside the city of sin is our matron of martyrdom Karen Mackenzie. She has tracked down evil Dr. Ackerman and she introduces herself with a big Mackenzie grin. "Hi, I'm Karen Mackenzie. My best friend Valene had twins last November and you stole them from her? Do you remember this incident?" Ackerman tells her he doesn't like her threats and she'd better stop hounding him.

"Look, Dr. I've already missed a doozy of a wedding so I have all the time in the world." The doctor gives her a big speech about how babies are a miracle and he's privileged to be a part of their birth. Karen tells him it’s a wonderful speech but his act isn't going to convince her. She tells him he needs to reunite the babies with their mother. She heads back to Knots Landing as we all know all she wanted to do was find out if he knew something and sure as Karen is the international lie detector, she knows he knows what she suspects he did. (Got it?)

Back in Knots Landing, Abby and Gary are talking about the little (and they mean little) dress that Cathy wore as a bridal gown. This brings me to a couple points regarding Miss Geary's sans Mrs. Rush's dress. The points are
1. Just because you dress a little on the slutty/trashy side doesn't make you a slut or trash. You could just have a good time with your fashion like Cathy and
2. Just because you dress conservatively (albeit eye shadow from Hell) and act sophisticated doesn't mean you aren't a slut and trashy like Abby. So next time you see a gal wearing a micro mini, stilettos and a barely there top don't think she's slutty (oh wait the next time you see it, it will be on Paige and yes she is a slut)…



Back to Abby and Gary, the talk of Cathy's dress gets the humpaholics so hot they decide to do it right there. Abby asks, "When are the kids expected home from the McConnell’s?" Gary tells her, "some time next season I suspect."
"Well, then, let's get rolling," says the Abster; but of course a ranch hand interrupts them telling the Ewings there was an accident with the McConnell’s car up the road.

Abby grabs her fur coat as I'm sure it’s devastatingly cold outside on this particular California afternoon and if not, one must look fetching if one is to pick up injured children on the side of the road. Abby is freaking out in the car, realizing the only thing she cares about more than money, sex, power and Maybelline is her children,
"If anything happens to little Miss O and oh, god what's the other one's name, Gary what is it? Oh yeah, Brian. All I care about is Odessa and Brian. They mean the world to me.

The power duo arrives and finds much to everyone's relief that the children are okay. Apparently a drunk driver came driving down the road and ran into the McConnell’s.

Val is at Ben's beach house where to prove to her man that there is nothing wrong with her, she decides to go for the gold and practically jumps on poor Bennie. "Come on Val," says the investigative reporter, "Mack's not even this rough. Although he does yell a lot more." Val, seemingly forgetting she is not really this slutty proceeds to take him right there next to the flannel couch. Apparently those striped pajamas of Benjamin's were too much for her. I completely understand as my Knots hating man has almost the exact pair.

Back in the sac, Karen has arrived back to her home and is in bed with her man the Mackie. She tells him she knows Ackerman knows about the babies. His speech was so rehearsed she thought she was doing a scene with Kim Lankford. She wonders how the wedding was and Mack admits he found the bride’s gown to most fetching. Karen wonders about the elusive Whitney and Mack admits she was quite fetching as well. Karen is disappointed she didn’t get to meet her so Mack says, “Guess who’s coming to dinner?” and finally someone acknowledges the girl is black… sort of. Karen continues to pine over the whole babies thing so Mack tells her we will get to the bottom of this. She
is so happy that he said “we,” she thanks the producers in a silent prayer for offing her first husband.

Val is up and walking the beach house as she realizes she must run home to the bathroom mirror and curse herself out for being slutty. Ben wakes up and since she doesn't have the red Thunderbird offers to take her home. She gets her speech already for her bad girl rant, "dirty, dirty tramp. You tramp. What did you do? You dirty tramp." Much to Joan Van Ark's chagrin, the producers tell her they've already done this scene in Nevada and its not required this time around.

At the Ewing ranch, Abby can't sleep either. She just stares at her little Miss O realizing she could've lost her children and that's the only thing that keeps her character balanced enough to not turn into Alexis Carrington. Gary comes in and tells her she should come to bed. “You’ve been checking on them every hour, they’re fine.” Abby promises to go to bed after she reiterates to the viewing audience she is not a Maybelline monster who steals children from their mothers.

The next morning, Gary drives his Jag all the way to Greg’s ranch to tell him that yes he will join the Empire Valley National Security Eavesdropping and Weapons Project. Although he does admit to Gary his mare doesn’t like men.


Miss African Safari Mama Ruth is out shopping the streets of Knots Landing with her chauffer when she runs smack dab into Laura and Lilimae. Ruth wonders if the two cul-de-sacers are still shopping for the wedding. Lilimae tells them the gift is for their room. "They're going to live at Val’s!" says a shocked Laura. "Does Cathy know this?"

My guess is probably not and she won't know until Joshua delivers her last bag of headbands to the room across from his Mama. Ruthie invites the gals to lunch. Laura tries to decline but Lilimae is, of course, all for gossiping with a guest star.

At Lotus Point, Abby is busy channeling her guilt through subtle eyelash twitches when Karen knocks on her door. Karen wonders what Abby thinks of having Eric as the Assistant Manager of Operations. Abby is all for it for she’s feeling generous regarding children today. That pesky Sherry comes walking in telling Abby she has an urgent call from some man who won’t take “no” for an answer. Abby is still reluctant to take the call but Karen
leaves so Abby is left alone on the horn. You’ll never even guess who is on the line! Yes it’s that awful evil Dr. Ackerman.

Abby tells him she has been trying to get a hold of him as well. But he isn’t making the call to set up a golf date he tells Abby that Mrs. Mackenzie found him and he wants Abby to put a stop to all of Karen’s meddling. He tells her if she doesn’t keep Karen off his back Abby will be going down with him. "But I didn't do anything!" yells Abby. "Tell it to the jury," says Ackerman. Abby freaks realizing she wore all her court outfits during Gary's murder trial.

Greg is so thrilled to have Gary on board he decides to have a little board meeting at the ranch. Gary, Greg, Johnny Brit and the old men talk all about government sanctions and the work they will someday be doing. Gary says everything sounds just peachy and should be ready in about six months. This doesn’t sit well with Greggie however, as he wants things moved up.

While the boys talk, Mackie drops by to drop off Galveston's papers. I yell to my curly haired pal, "Don't do it Mack. The key to Val’s babies is in their you fool!" Mack doesn't listen; he thinks his storyline is over. Apparently he doesn't realize there are still four episodes of the season left and he's a major player now.

After the meeting wraps up Johnny Brit tells the Garmeister that he may not like the stakes of this new game. He is going to have to lie to loved ones and he may end up being hated. Gary doesn't mind, "Just last season I had everyone thinking I was dead. I even had a funeral. I'm buried somewhere on my ranch. It was all worth it though cause I got to bag that hot singing ranch hand.. Yes, I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll." "Focus, Gary," says Johnny Brit.

The ladies who lunch have a little conversation with Lilimae milking our special guest star for every African safari story she can muster up. Lilimae is on the edge of her seat wondering what she would do if a wild animal came after her.

“I wouldn’t know what to do, would you Laura?” asks Lilimae.

Laura says, “I don’t know I’ve had my fair share of experience with wild animals lately.”

Ruthie tells her, "Don’t quip Laura…nice girls don't quip.”

"Yeah," says Lilimae who would sell her country bumpkin soul for anyone with a good back-story.

Laura realizing she may not be such a nice girl since all she has to offer the conversation is her infamous quips opts to leave the lunch. Ruthie then prods information from Lilimae on Laura. Lilimae gives the old Richard was a lug who just up and hitched out of town one night. She doesn't tell Ruthie about Laura and Ciji's supposed drives up the coast to the all girls retreat in Sarasota but Lilimae may not know everything. Ruthie confesses, "Isn't this so nice. You and me together. You know the only way the producers got me away from my puppy dogs in London was to promise I'd get to do a scene with another great 50s movie star. And here we are, right on a nighttime soap. Isn't it lovely?" Lilimae tells Ava, "Sister, you're breaking character. Focus."

Ben stops in to take his Val pal out for lunch. She isn’t ready for a trip to the museum or anything else, as she has been steadily writing since he dropped her off the night before. Ben tells her he will see her that night and Val thanks him for the time alone, before going back to her typewriter and it’s empty paper.

That evening, there is a big fandangled barbeque at the Mackenzie’s. Mack comes in with the steaks while Karen raises her glasses for a toast, “Here’s to Eric, the new Assistant Manager to Operations.” Everyone is so pleased and happy even that little Whitney who is at the table. Ben suggests they have another toast since Valene has started writing a new novel. Val suggests they toast her after the book is completed, but who can hold a drink until the reunion?

Valene switches the focus to the new girl asking Whitney if she is still in school. It seems Whitney is a History major which just prompts Mack to take over the conversation mentioning he went to Sumner’s to drop off the Galveston papers and there were a whole slew of old white guys there. Ben asks Mack if he wants to play touch football with Gary that evening or something like that. He also wants to know why Mack gave the papers back. “Look the killer is in prison, my storyline is over.”

Meanwhile, Greg is handing out ice to his favorite dames. Ruthie mentions she had lunch with Laura and Lilimae that day. But before he can make too many snide remarks that Maybelline maven shows up to wreak havoc. It seems there is important and urgent business she needs to talk about. When the duo leaves Ruth and Laura alone, Ruth tells her, “She sure does drop in often doesn’t she?” Laura suggests they call an exterminator.

Back in the cul-de-sac, Mack and Ben take a stroll to the backyard where Mackie wonders what is going on with Ben and Val. Ben admits sometimes she is just like season five Val but other times she is plain nuts. Mack reminds Ben the Val has gone through the Verna Ellers. Ben realizes she needs time but Mack did want to know what the story was. He also asks Mack one more time if he wants to go visit Gary for some info on the Empire Valley thing.

In the kitchen, our Val has her hair all winged out like the white dove she is so we all think she must be just peachy keen… but she tells Karen she is just acting the way everyone wants her to. She knows Ben notices but from the time she gets up to the time she lays her wings down she doesn’t feel right. She gets up as she has a prone to do and turns around, as she is prone to do, she tells Karen, “I know those babies are alive. I felt their life inside of me and it never stopped. Oh Karen, am I going crazy again?”
I think, "God I hope so." Karen assures her that it will just be a matter of time until she realizes she's not completely out of touch…I suspect four episodes!

Back at the Galveston Ranch, Abby has some heavy story to lay on Greggie. She tells him when Easton was working on the water rights for her, he told her he was going to talk to Galveston. In the meantime Valene was pregnant… Greg says, “Can you hurry up I have a dinner to attend.” Abby punches it up a notch telling Greg she off handedly mentioned to Scott how she wanted Valene’s babies not to happen. Greg wonders why it would bother her so much and she tells him Gary and Val were married and he is always just so protective of her. Greg realizes the babies are Gary’s and Abby admits the truth, mentioning Gary still doesn’t know.

She goes on to tell Greg how her water lawyer promised her a big bonus and she didn’t know want he meant. Around the same time Valene went into labor and Gary went running to her as usual. She thought for sure Valene would tell him everything but instead Gary called and told her the babies were still born. Right after that she got the infamous phone call asking about the father’s blood type then she received the second infamous phone call telling her the babies were put in a good home and she wasn’t to worry. “The babies are alive?” asks Greg.

Abby tells him she is fairly certain they are. Greg wonders why Abby didn’t do anything with her information. She tells him when she figured it out she tried to get in touch with Easton but he was on a Galveston jet that never let him off and by the time it all came down Valene was already gone. “Why didn’t you do anything?” he asks,



“I didn’t know what to do, that’s different than not doing anything at all.”

Meanwhile, Laura is loving her bonding time with Safari Ruth. Ruth says, “Those two sure have a lot to talk about don’t they?” Laura decides she has had enough of the woman and tells her she is leaving. Ruthie suggests she have a nice ride home.

At the Ewing Ranch, Gary is sharing his seltzer with the other boys of KL town. Ben and Mack want more info on the Empire Valley and Gary does his first deceitful thing by telling the boys as long as he has something to do with the project it is going remain on the up and up.

Back at Galveston Ranch, our Greggie is still confused as to where this is going with the devil of Knots Landing so Abby tells him even more secrets mentioning how her first husband took her children from her,

“I’ve never felt so alone in my life…” she says.
“I’m touched,” says Greg.
“I don’t care if you’re touched,” says Abby,
“Look you know I do anything I can to get what I want but I don’t do this, I don’t take babies away from their mothers.”


Greg, thoroughly exhausted by now asks what Abby wants from him. She thinks the answers to where the babies are is somewhere in Paul’s files. Greggie being the ever-giving man he is, gives her the whole box of papers.

“On one condition," says Greg, “I never want to hear about this again.”
Abby assures him that is a promise she can keep.
“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” he tells her.

After she leaves, he opens his drawer and there are the actual papers Abby needs. The Abster may be the blue-eyed devil of Knots Landing but Greg has to be the VO5d greased runner up.

The next morning, Greggie shares a little orange juice and sarcastic banter with his Mommy. She wonders what place Laura has in his life. Greg tells her Laura is sticking around so Ruth tells him she will be nice to her.

“I didn’t ask you to be nice to her,” says Greg.
“But I’m nice to all your friends” says Ruth, “Take Abby Ewing,”
"You take her, I’ve had her," interrupts Greg.
"I like that girl,"admits Ruthie,"she is full of spunk.”
“You’ve always been a great judge of character,”says Sarcastic Sumner before offering Mumsie a biscuit.


At Lotus Point, Abby is knee deep in Galveston papers but it doesn’t look like our girl is finding anything but worthless Galveston trivia.

But wait there’s more, here is that nutty Sheila Fisher walking her twins down the neighborhood sidewalk. She passes a rather nice car and who should be inside but Greg Sumner!

What will happen next? Will Greg hold the baby card over Abby's head? Does Abby have an ace up her sleeve? Will Val let Ben know that she's not really playing with the full deck? Will Cathy sing "Queen of Hearts" when she returns? I guess we'll check back next week!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

In Rotation


So it's probably no secret that I love my music - I spend more money than I care to admit at the record store. In fact, all of my savings have gone into CDs - the ones you buy at Tower Records! So with this new series, I thought I'd share what I am buying and listening to - and today we have one of my recent purchases, just released last Tuesday!

At one time, the Pink force was lumped together with Brittney, Jessica and the like, but since her debut in 2000, she has constantly impressed not only me, but the critics alike.

Doing a 180 in music styles with Mizundastood, and then bringing in Rancid to help her with my favorite release Try This - Pink has continued to amaze me with her voice, her attitude and her take on multiple genres of pop music.

With I'm Not Dead, the whole thing continues. Dropping most of the hard rock feel of Try This, she doesn't go into dance mode or even dance pop, instead she creates a hybrid of everything and most importantly doesn't lose one ounce of that Pink punk spunk. With the lead off single "Stupid Girls" her attitude shines through the pop blend but the other songs combine both her need to express herself and to indulge in various music stylings. Bringing on the Indigo Girls for the mostly acoustic and severely scathing "Dear Mr. President", Pink and the girls force feed Bush some medicine ("What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away/ and what kind of father would hate his own daughter if she were gay/ I can just imagine what the First Lady has to say/ You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine..."). On the poppiest of the bunch "Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)" we are led into the all too familiar mode of wanting to be alone while wanting to be with your lover - "All I ask for is one fucking hour." There's the tender ballads that Pink makes all her own as she even has a conversation with her 13 year old self. There's also fun little tracks where the brunt of Pink's wrath is her own self worth and in sarcastic tones, Pink can celebrate money and fame then turn around and denounce - which may seem like a jumbled mess on paper, but when she pulls it off it says tons about her talent. The critics on this one are not wrong - this is one hell of an album and I can't recommend it enough.

Also on rotation today- The Sounds "Dying To Say This To You" (look for review soon), Stevie Nicks "Rock A Little", a mixed up mash of songs for my pal Patrick entitled "Silvery Rain", Robbie Williams "Intensive Care", and Deborah Harry "Debralicious - Deborah Harry Rare" (a bubbatunes compilation)

What A Way To Make A Living!


A few months ago I went to the 25th Anniversary screening of one of my all time favorite movies 9 To 5. It was held at the Egyptian Theater and it was loaded with a bunch of gay boys and gals reciting lines! It was one of the most surreal movie experiences I've encountered. When I was but a wee boy, Cinemax ran 9 To 5 nonstop and I swear I must've watched the movie every single time it aired.

Classic lines and scenarios abound in this rather topical comedy -

"I'm a murderer"
"No, you're not."
"I'm a murderess."


"They're going to fire me for this."
"Don't get hysterical Violet."
"I'm no fool, I killed the boss you think they're not going to fire me for a thing like that?"


"I've got a gun out there in my purse and up to this time I've been forgiving and forgetting, but I"ll get that gun and turn you from a rooster to a hen in one shot!"

And the road rage as the three travel down the dark LA streets with a corpse in the trunk of their big blue Buick! Oh, classic stuff!

At the time of the theatrical presentation, they showed bloopers and gag reels, a retrospective on director/writer Collin Higgins and had one of the co-writers present to talk about. One question that was brought up was whether Fox would make a new DVD version to celebrate the 25th anniversary. The writer, Patricia Resnick thought Fox wasn't even aware it was the 25th anniversary of the film, but lo and behold as of Tuesday - the Sexist, Egotistical, Lying, Hypocritical Bigot Version has been released!

I ran out to Tower the minute it came out so I could get my hands on my own copy. As I walked into Tower on Sunset Boulevard, those boys were playing the movie and reciting every line! It was once again a very surreal moment. Imagine a group of rather punk rock looking boys reciting feminist lines by the likes of Dolly Parton & Lily Tomlin - I love this place!

So now I tell you - run out and buy your own copy! The DVD contains commentary by all three of the leading ladies, and the co-producer. Plus the retrospective I talked about, some bloopers and a karoke version of "9 To 5" so we can all sing along to the theme song! Welcome back 1980 how I missed you!