Friday, June 30, 2006

What A Bunch Of Cut Ups

I am not one to wander around into a kitchen and begin futzing over food or even picking up a sponge, but this morning I noticed we had a watermelon sitting in a bag and I realized I wanted to take some to work for lunch. Now this meant that I had to overstep the boundaries of our house and do a job that is really more The Leivas' forte, but none the less I wanted some melon and he was already gone.

I picked up that extra seraded blade my cousin Paula had given to The Leivas one XMas and I cut into that watermelon like a real pro. I put the pieces I wanted into a tupperware and the rest into a larger bowl and into the fridge. I was pleased with myself and what I had accomplished all while still wearing pajamas, when the blood begin dripping down my hand. For some reason, I had cut myself and the strangest thing was I didn't feel it or even really understand how it could've happened. But alas, that is what happens when I enter the kitchen. I still have the scar on my hand from the last time I handwashed dishes (sometime around 1997)...

some other cut ups making me happy today include that Benji & Donyelle who rocked the house on Wednesday's So You Think You Can Dance with some punky make up and an Usher pop song - my other favs Legs & Spike didn't fair too well, but thankfully as they are so hot they did not get booted off. However, hottie Dimitri who can tear open a shirt and the dance floor with his Latin moves lost yet another partner...

in other news the Swivek songs are coming along very well; we are now on a 9th ditty = a pure grungy rocker about sex called "Can't Say No To That" and a nice little ballady thing about an old friend of mine called "Aren't You Proud" and it just gets better as my pal Patrick from Orange Television may be doing some songs for the new album. The last time we hooked up was on "Little Miss Priss" and it was practically pop genius if I do say so myself, so it looks like the new album is going to be very exciting....

and the best cut-up exciting little thing to happen is Miss Fancy Pants Lisa Glassford will be here tomorrow at 11 am! I can't even frickin' wait.. oops I think I just peed a little. Oh never mind, it was just my bleeding finger dripping.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Nurse Bradchet

I am the first to admit that when it comes to caring for others, I'm not so great. In fact, I am the one in need of constant care (or so I have led most people to believe). Yesterday, Mr. Leivas had a doctor's appointment, an appointment which was supposed to put him under as in anesthesia but being the Leivas, he wasn't completely knocked out. None the less, it was my duty as husband to care for him in this time of need. So I took him to the doctor and once he went inside for the procedure, I headed downstairs for a smoke.

The minute before I lit up I realized Alf's sister had called me wondering about her brother, I was about to call her back when Alf's mother called my cell to find out about her baby boy. I informed her he had just went into the doctor and tried to pretend I was sitting in the office worried sick when four semis drove down Robertson Boulevard blowing my cover.

Two hours later, Alf's mom called back and luckily I was actually in the waiting room but probably sounded fairly abrupt as I was uncomfortable speaking in front of strangers plus I was working on a new Carlton Heights script.

Finally, my Leivas was let out and he was completely fine but exhausted so I took him home where I inquired if he could now eat. He wondered if I was asking him if he was going to make me lunch. I laughed it off and suggested I make him some soup before I take my car to the car wash.

The Leivas cooked his own Spanish rice, watched some TV and I went downstairs to clean out my car. This is when the mother Leivas called again and I explained I was once again away from her boy but she could call the house. She declined and I'm sure she was a tad worried that I was not the caregiver she would have provided for her son.

Then finally, I sent Alf to bed and I ran to the car wash. While waiting for the detail to be done, Alf's sister called me. I didn't pick up for fear that, well they would know what a lousy caregiver I was.

Of course when Alf finally returned all the phone calls to his beloveds, he informed them how he hadn't eaten dinner yet since his nurse wasn't quite hungry (I had a tuna sandwich while he napped) but he was sure he would be able to eat sometime this week.

Moral of the story: If you need a nurse, call the Leivas, if you need someone to smoke, hang out, call for food delivery, then you can call Nurse Bradchet; I'll try to screen your phone calls the best I can.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Dance HoMo Dance

Back to my show, on Wednesdays the episode of So You Think You Can Dance has all the couples dancing and America gets to vote then on Thursday's show the bottom 3 couples have to solo dance to impress the judges. Because I have no real patience, we tape Wednesday's show and then watch both nights together. So now after watching the show last night, I am back in love with Benji the HoMo (that would be Homosexual Mormon) and his partner Donyelle - who I've loved since her contemporary rant of Dionne Farris' Human in her audition. They did a bang up job and cha cha'd their way back into my heart - and Nigel, the uber English asswipe commented about Donyelle's weight and I thought he was going to insult her but instead told her that she carried her it so well and was the sexiest thing on the stage all night thus making her a true inspiration to those girls at home who were uncomfortable in their weight. I wonder if he's ever seen Hairspray - I mean Donyelle looks larger on tv but those other women probably only weight 80 frickin' pounds and she sure isn't Tracy Turnblad.

As for Spike and Legs well they were the second best doing what I like to call crunching but may be wrong - any way they run out they look like they're beating each other up and they just basically punch and push at the invisible walls around them - pretty frickin' cool and Spike really had it going on...

but yet I still get so upset knowing any mintue they could be gone - my favorite part was actually Snaggletooth Ben and Irene Cara who totally did American Jump Jive (think Rose Nylund on Golden Girls) to Jerry Lee Lewis but the judges didn't like it! I was appalled and would've totally voted for them if I cared enough to spend money by picking up the phone and voting...

as for those bottom three, let me just say I'm glad Joy, the Brittney White Trash look a like is gone while Heidi, Benji the HoMo's cousin, is totally winning me over with her kick ass routine in high heels and her Reese Witherspoon Sweet Home Alabama personality... until next week!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Retro Hottie Of The Week (Bastard In The Night Pt. 1)

The very first bastard in the night I ever had a relationship with was the ex-convict older brother of a friend of mine who resembled Sylvester Stallone. Tim had a better nose than ol Sly but he did have those eyes, you know the sad eyes that say "Look at me, don't you feel sorry for me for being such a bastard in the night?" Of course I did.

Tim taught me many things like how to mix Southern Comfort with kool aid to quench your sweet tooth, how to add tuna into your Mac N Cheese for that oh so Midwestern casserole feel, and how to drive a stick shift.

Tim had this great 1968 Camaro Z with Rally Sport options and that summer we took off for three weeks and lived in various camp sites and rest stops. It was actually thrilling for a 17 year old boy who thought he had found something resembling love.

As it turns out, it was lust pure young lust - Tim had the libido of a caged animal, perhaps it was those months of incarceration, or perhaps I was just a hot to trot blonde boy, but whatever it was, it was fun, fun, fun til the highway took the Camaro away.

Tim went back to his bony ass girlfriend and stopped sleeping with me, my friend Ryanne, my old high school buddy Monica, the girl who came to visit from California and of course my dearest pal at the time Michelle. It seems when you're young and in love, you're also young and in stupid. A few years later I saw Tim driving down the highway with his bony ass girlfriend in the car, I practically side swiped them trying to give him the bird.

Who Am I?

For the past few months I've been trying to come up with some kind of identity for my blog - am I a guru of music - should I use my board to put out all the great tunage people may be missing? Can I use my blog to tell all of my most personal details to a few strangers and friends who've probably heard it all before? Or should I just continue with the pidge podge I've been doing lately? Since I'm a Gemini, and essentially nuts, changing my mind as the wind blows, I think I'll just try a few things and see where we go.. I like the random Cds at the end of the week, though 7 is a tad hard to talk about and I love just love talking about myself, but I think some kind of system is in order so starting this week, I'm going to do Tuesdays TV - where we look at a classic or new show that's on DVD; luckily our first was the faboo Police Woman, but look out for upcoming reviews of Gimme A Break! and The Muppet Show! Then lest we forget my love of music, I think I'm going to do a Random CD of the week - something fun, something strange and starting today - The Retro Hottie Of The Week, where I take a celebrity and try to connect him to one of those Bastards In The Night I used to date; fun stuff I think.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I Want My GayTV

My new favorite TV channel Logo will be launching some new shows this fall and I'm so frilling excited, I can't hide it. No, they have jumped on the Carlton Heights pilot but I'm sure it's just a matter of time, until then they are launching four new shows, two of which have me almost peeing my pants in excitement. Let's take a gander at GayTV shall we?

They're doing a show called The Service which looks at enlisted gay men and women on an active military base on the Pacific Ocean. it's a one-hour drama following a diverse group of gay and lesbian recruits and officers so I guess it's NCIS or Jag for the gays - not too interested but whatever then there's a reality show which might be good but might be scary all at once called Reconnection which is a half-hour reality series that gives LGBT participants an opportunity to approach and confront friends and loved ones who disowned them because of their sexuality. If only I could find someone to bitch at...

but for the uber cool stuff, they are turning one of my fav movies into a series, Sordid Lives: The Series is a prequel to the play and cult film Sordid Lives. It's a half hour sitcome following an eccentric Texan family whose intertwining off-kilter lives ultimately lead to the death of the family matriarch, and I just read that Del Shores, the writer and producer is trying to get as many cast members from the film as possible including Delta Burke and Leslie Jordan! By the way if you haven't seen the movie - rent it, rent it, rent it! oh and call me cuz I'll come watch it - or just come to my house and we can watch my DVD together,

and finally, a show that is so hilarious in just a synopsis I can't imagine how great it will be as an actual show - anyhoos its called That Gay Ghost. Of course it's a half-hour sitcom but in this one, the show revolves around the lives of the conservative Carson family, who move to San Francisco and find that their lives are changed forever when they discover Cosmo, a gay ghost living in their new home! Couldn't you just die?

and speaking of gay TV, I never thought in a million years I'd be watching a reality shows with such gusto but I must confess I am catching every single episode of So You Think You Can Dance?. I can not sit through even ten minutes of American Idol but watching these dancers every week has me hooked. The talent that some of them have is entrancing, and the hosts aren't quite as wicked as that other show.

Like all other reality geeks I have my favs. I really like Benji, the always smiling swing prince with his always swinging hips, and I rooted and rooted for him from the very beginning; thinking he had a cool father and was doing his very best always smiling and practically begging me to cheer for him, but then after doing a hip hop routine with his girl he began to talk - he was given kudos for turning his swing into that thang but confessed he'd never been that close to a woman before (surprise! surprise!) but then said, "Not until I'm married" (what!) my smile left
my face and I looked at the Leivas, "Is he for real?" I wondered, then in the next few minutes it all made sense for it seems little Benji Foo Foo Pants had to quit dancing for two years to go on a mission for his church - you know what that means don't you? That's right the kid's a Mormon and like all other Mormons I've met in the gay bars he is keeping his tap shoes in the closet - suddenly I lost interest in little Benji the Mormon -

Luckily there are two other dancers I'm rooting for after seeing their super frickin' fun and cool routine - I call them Legs and Spike but I'm sure they have real names but until you can prove otherwise they have my full attention - and my votes - okay, I'm not really voting - I'm not that big of a loser, but I am watching.



If only they all didn't have to be voted off - for some reason it is all so emotional to me; perhaps I'm more of a Star Search viewer, I just want everyone to be happy and encouraged but since that doesn't look it will happen my vote is going to Spike and Legs and perhaps I'll keep you posted as to whether or not Benji burns down the closet door with his swing sets or if Legs and Spike actually take the prize and get to work with Horse head #2 Celine Dion...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Freeze Turkey!

I'm in love with Angie Dickinson and I don't care who knows it! For the past two weeks I've been watching Police Woman - Season 1 on DVD and let me just tell you all it is frickin' amazing. When I was a kid I remember thinking Angie was super cool and it didn't hurt that my favorite aunt - Nauntie Dianne as I call her - thought she looked like Angie and even had the hair to prove it! At the time Angie was doing a TV show called Cassie & Company which was basically Police Woman as a detective but I loved it and I loved her. The re-runs of Police Woman (which aired from 1974-1978) were usually on tv so I remember watching a few episodes but didn't really remember anything about them. So when I found out this was being released, I hopped onto netflix and put those suckers in my q - Little did I know what brilliance would be spurting from my DVD player.


Originally broadcast as an episode of Police Story Angie played undercover police woman Lisa Beaumant. Now Police Story was created by and overseen by a real life police officer and the show was praised for its realistic take on the world of police officers and before Angie had even finished her one off episode the suits were talking SPIN OFF!

Angie had been around for years and years having made some pretty good films - check out Big Bad Mama for some real fun! - including the original Ocean's 11 where she acted circles around that horse head Julia Roberts who played the role in the remake; anyhoos, Angie didn't want to do tv but they asked her if she wanted to be a household name and she thought that was a pretty good idea.

When she agreed to the show she made one change, she didn't like the character name and thought something spicier would be in order, apparantly what she didn't think about is that the producers let her pick the name - but it all worked out cuz Pepper Anderson came to be and I can't think of another name quite as cool for a police woman.

You may be wondering how I know all this crazy stuff - well its because Angie and her co-star Earl Holliman do commentary on tons of episodes and it is frickin' hilarious. Angie who I always thought was classy tough proves it on these commentaries - we find out so much - like she hated night shooting, she had a clause in her contract to be home by 6 pm to be with her daughter and when the producers realized they were running late they'd pull out the popcorn and beer and film a bar scene (the cops hung out in a bar) and Angie would forget all about the time. Though she couldn't drink too much beer (which she loves) because her eye lids got droopy... fascinating shizz huh?

but the most important thing is the show is really good - I thought it'd be kind of campy but not at all, full of "how much bread for the junk?" and "freeze turkey" type of things it's a flip right out of the 70s and Ang looks faboo, not to mention tough - in the very first aired episode she blows a villian away with a shotgun! I have come up with a brilliant idea to take the show and make it into a movie a la the Brady Bunch films where "undercover" Pepper Anderson still wears the crazy 70s clothes as she goes undercover in her dangerous scenes and hopes she isn't "made out" to be a cop. I think it'd be great, but until then I'm going back to watch more Police Woman (and then re-watch with commentaries) next up is episode 10 "Flowers Of Evil" where crazed lesbians who run an elderly home are killing their residents! I can't wait to hear what Angie has to say about that!

RENT IT!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Rockin' Out with Swivek

All of you Swivek fans will be happy to know that for the last few weeks I've been rocking and socking with some new tunes, in fact I have 7 (yes 7!) new songs in the works as we speak with a few of them just a mere tweaks away from being completed. What all of this means is YES! a new Swivek album is in the works - tentatively titled Darkness + Light, we're looking at a slightly edgier grungier album this time around; with songs including the polititcally charged title track complete with "aaahs" and an organ solo, a synthy little number titled "Garboesque", some balls to the wall garage rock on "Power & Passion" and "You're Not The One", a rock love affair with a car called "Auto 54", a guitar ballad titled "Breathin'" which is slowly turning into my favorite of them all and a poppy bitter number called "Radio."

I'm hoping for a fall release but if things continue going as well as they have don't be surprised if Darkness + Light hits the sales market by late August. I have a few more ideas brewing and am thinking of a few covers I'd like to do (Go figure!) but I'll keep you all posted on the progress of what is slowly turning into MY favorite Swivek album ever!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Firecracker Ferocity

Yesterday morning I woke up to the strange combination buzz and ringing that lets me know I have an unchecked message on my cell phone. Now before I can even make my way to the bathroom in the morning, I have to stop for a bit and make myself a cup of coffee so it was until at least 9:30 when I was awake enough to find out who or what had called me at 8 am. As it turns out, it was some of the best news in the world.. My very best pal in the entire frickin' world Lisa, rang me up to tell me she had her travel agent on hold and was waiting to see if she should book a flight to come to LA for the last week of June or just wait until the week of 4th of July to visit me, light fireworks out of our tuchuses and generally light up the world with our effervesence.

I immediately rang her up (two and half hours after her first call) and to all of you Lisa lovahs out there, get ready cuz the Firecracker From Wisconsin is heading to La La Land July 1st and you'd better get ready to shake up the streets...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Me Can Help You, Sir?

I was just on the phone for what felt like 12 hours with Sprint PCS. I recently read in the paper that Sprint was charging West Hollywood residents a Los Angeles city utility tax and when I checked my bill what do you know? I had the charge so I rang up the "customer solution specialist" but instead had some automated woman who thought she could help me. She told me to speak clearly and tell her my reason for calling so I said, "You are charging me the wrong city utility tax." To which the robotic woman said, "You are having problems with wireless internet." And then she asked me to say "yes" or "no" if that was correct. I told her uh no! To which she robotically replied, "I'm sorry I must have made a mistake. Please tell me how I can help you."

I responded, "You are charging me the wrong utility tax you dumb piece of computer shit," to which she said, "You want to change your billing address. Is that correct?" When I said "No" again, I think the actual robot woman got exasperated with me as well. Finally she gave me three options of how she could help me. She could 1. Help me get my minutes spent 2. Tell me how much my current bill was or 3. Get one of the "customer solution specialists" on the line. I opted for 3 and let me just say the real thing wasn't all that much better.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

E-I-E-I-O M.D.

It appears every frickin' doctor in the world is some kind of specialist - they all seem to know their field so well yet when it comes time to answer you or even give a simple diagnosis, you can't get an answer out of anyone. They just send you onto the next specialist.

My Leivas has been having problems lately with his innards, and even some problems with a hip, now before you start thinking I'm dating some old man, let me just say you're only half right... the main point is as of today he's seen his regular doctor, had a CT scan, is getting a lower GI, and now they want to do a MRI which I thought was the same as a CT but is still quite different from a GI. When I heard he was having a lowered GI I personally had a whole different image in my head and I must admit I was quite pissed off... but not as pissed as I'm getting since no one seems to know anything.

Meanwhile, my sister in Wisconsin who has had problems with her kidney in the past called up because she was so ill she couldn't sleep. Her doctor who had worked with her told her they wouldn't give her any drugs and she should just make an appointment with the doctor - first available appointment? Two weeks. So my mother carted her off to the emergency room where the doctor who still had no real diagnosis gave her some Vicadin and that little pill they give you should you ingest anthrax.

Up until now I've kind of stood in the background while everyone around me gets tested and prodded and pushed to the curb and I don't really want to be a B-I-T-C-H about it but if that's the only way to get an A-N-S-W-E-R from an MD perhaps it's time my little blue Escort headed over to Cedars... or perhaps I should just invest in my own MRI/CT/GI/MD/DVD/CD machine. Armed with a good medical encylopedia I may just have found my calling.

Monday, June 12, 2006

The Great Ant Massacre of '06

I just had the most horrifying experience, and felt it was only right to share it with you - my two readers. This story has it all, pain, horror, insects and death. It all began innocently enough with an empty bowl and a bathroom sink....

This morning I brought some oatmeal to work, a little breakfast while perusing the internet and taking phone calls. After I finished my oatmeal I rinsed out the bowl and left it sitting on the sink in the bathroom. All was forgotten until I went in there to get the bowl and put it in my take home bag of dishes.

Immediately I was horrified to find not one or two ants around the bowl but the entire ant population of West Hollywood, all around the rim, inside the bowl and a huge line of would be oatmeal pests going across the bathroom counter, up the side of the wall, back down the other side of the wall and into the tiniest little hole next to the toilet. I was freakin' out. First of all, I realized those pesky little ants had probably been watching me on the porcelain throne for weeks before getting up the nerve to march towards my tupperware.

But to see all of them there it was like a frickin' horror movie, so I did the only thing I could think of - I grabbed a big white bottle of Formula 409 and started spraying as if my life depended on it! I sprayed the bowl, I sprayed the counter, I sprayed the wall and the hole, and as those little bastards teetered and fell over, I grabbed paper towel and cleaned them up. Now I wonder if any of them got away, and perhaps ran their little bodies to their nest declaring, "Gone! They're all gone! It was the worst thing ever. We were just eating some giant pieces of oat and this acid rain came down, it was terrifying!"

But maybe that will teach those little bugs not to mess with a hungover blonde with access to 409.

Friday, June 09, 2006

We're A Proud People


Well, it's that time of year - the annual Gay Pride Festival in West Hollywood is this weekend, and once again I am totally stoked to see my favorite 80s ladies bands perform. As you may recall last year my own favorite Debbie Harry did a dance filled solo set and now this year a few more of my old favs are coming to claim the stage. Included are the Bangles, Bow Wow Wow (Annabella is now over the age of 18 u know), Taylor Dayne and a special throw in from the late 90s - frickin' Billie Myers! I love Billie and though I am stoked to hear "Kiss the Rain" and "Tell Me" performed live, I'm a tad disappointed to find out she is the last performer scheduled - booking in at 9:40 pm on Sunday night. Poor girl, but perhaps that will prompt her to finally release a new album.

As the booze and the boys will be swirling, I hope everyone with an ounce of conciousness will remember how and why we are all here. Through the countless interagations, coming out horror stories, fights and battles won and lost with politicians, this isn't supposed to be about a big party. Sure, we love to have parties and will make any excuse to get fabulous and outrageous, but for some reason this year makes me a little sombre about the whole pride sitch. I mean Dumbya is out there practically ready to round us up and throw us into a camp to convert us, while here in WeHo the 21 year old twinks are dancing like there weren't a care in the world. I'm beginning to think they may have the right idea. I mean if the Christopher Street West Council opted to throw Paris Hilton in AGAIN! as our celebrity grand marshall, then I will have lost all faith for the parade's organizers. The woman really knows nothing about suffering, I mean it's the general public who is really suffering when she sings, acts, talks or is even featured in a photograph... I searched and searched to see who our grand marshall is and it's been to no avail, so I will just hope for the best and pray they drag Bea Arthur out of retirement and throw her into a convertible... oh my god, they should get Bea, Rue and Betty White to do it! I'm going to call up the organizers right now! Gee, that's my second Bea Arthur reference in 2 weeks, perhaps I'm need of a Golden Girls fix.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I Could've Been Somebody

In my half hearted attempts at a career in showbiz and my more prominent role as happy husband, I sometimes forget that I actually live in Los Angeles - a place where any moment at any place you could find yourself driving next to, walking along with or sitting behind a celebrity. It brings a whole new twist to that familiar face you see and confront with, "Don't I know you from someplace?" Here in LA that someplace is more likely from the television screen than your high school yearbook. But that doesn't stop me from insisting anyone who looks vaguely familiar was an old acquaintance from Wisconsin, Minneapolis or even Idaho.

Meanwhile, my boyfriend watches endless hours of television and films so he can recognize a celebrity (even D-List) from three check out lines away, I on the other hand am a lot like that episode of Will & Grace where Jack insisted the real Cher was just an imposter. I wouldn't know a celebrity if they put me into their next film. The only person I've ever recognized off the bat was JoAnne frickin' Wirley!

But I am actually digressing because the main point of this post is not that I actually saw a celebrity but that someone thought that I was a celebrity. On Monday, I was out and about on my own waiting hanging at the Alcopulco Mexican Restaraunt on Sunset Boulevard. I was meeting up with a friend of a friend who had just moved to LA from Wisconsin and we were going to catch some Happy Hour Margaritta action and Karaoke. (We are so Midwest!)

So a big blonde boy with a bright red tank top and shorts sat next to me at the bar while I waited alone for my new friend. After a few sips of his margaritta he looked at me and said, "I know you don't I?"

Now I wasn't sure how to respond since I didn't know if he knew me or not. That is really a question he should be asking himself. None the less I tried to play along. I looked at his red tank top and his oh so Heavy Metal hair and figured he probably was from Wisconsin and perhaps we went to school together.

But before I could grasp what was really going on, he said to me, "You're a drummer right? You're the drummer from Stain."

I was quite stunned and surprised since I do not play drums and I do not even know what the drummer from Stain looks like. Had I been even remotely clever or michevious I may have gone with it. But I don't even know the drummer's name so I just said, "No, I'm Mark Hammill" and finished my drink.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Oh Just Face It

My pal Amy Cissell has a very great blog of her own and while reading it today she turned me onto this very strange yet very interesting website. You upload a picture of yourself and they run a little test and come up with a bunch of celebrity personalities who look like you!

Now I was mortified when I did this, as the first person who came up was Mark Hamill. Not that he's what I would call homely or anything but the picture they had of him was downright brutal. One of those Star Magazine photos the photographer comes up with so they have to run the headline, "Such and such is on their last breath. Years of booze and eating red meat have taken their toll. He's now seen with Kirstie Alley heading for KFC after a night of binging on Ho Hos and Rum & Coke" type of things. But luckily, they found that I matched a number of other celebrities including Kurt Russell and Owen Wilson. Not to mention Nicole Richie, Claudia Schiffer, Ringo Starr, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Palo Nedved (I know? Who? I think he kicks around some balls for someone) As for the website and what you may look like on this side of Hollywood, here's the link:
http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/tryFaceRecognition.php

By the way, can you guess which one is me?



Monday, June 05, 2006

The Saga Of Brad & Alysha

So a few weeks ago I got an email on my yahoo account that my new myspace site was up and running. I had by that time also recieved fourteen messages from Alysha. Curious as I didn't even set up a myspace account with that email, I used the password they gave me and headed to see what the hell Alysha wanted.

As it turned out, Alysha and Brad Jacobson were in a hot and heated debate about their relationship. For some reason, this Brad Jacobson was invited to hear their problems. I tried not to read the posts, I tried to just walk away from it all and let myspace know they made a mistake but I was too curious.

For some reason that other Brad Jacobson was able to get into the account as well but I'm not sure if he ever got to read all of Alysha's gushings and pleads to stay together. After a while I just gave up on the whole drama, but now today I have a new message on myspace from Janet.

Unfortunetly I lost the password that got me into the other Brad Jacobson's love life. Oh well, perhaps one day Alysha and Janet will do a googles search for their beloved Brad, find my blog and they can tell me all the drama I've been missing.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

This Week's Random 7

Variety is the spice of life and this week, I've been listening to some big time variety - from Broadway soundtracks to classic country to electronica to the original punk movement, this is my random 7 CDs of the week...

HAIRSPRAY - Original Cast Recording (2004)
Alf and I went to the play at the Pantages last Saturday and I've been singing the songs ever since. Fun and campy stuff for sure but the ode to the 60s girl groups is so strong these songs stand up on their own, "Mama I'm A Big Girl Now" and the opener "Good Morning Baltimore" are a riot from begining to end. The clincher is the ending tune, a full bodied tune called "You Can't Stop The Beat." The song even had Alf driving down the streets of LA making hand dances like the show. The only real problem with the soundtrack is that Harvey Feirstein is not a great singer, and there are more lines in the performances of some of the songs, but as a whole this is a pretty fun CD.

GNARLS BARKLEY - St. Elsewhere (2006)
From Broadway we head to the world of electronica and the newest project of Danger Mouse. The single and video for "Crazy" has been getting a ton of airplay. Alf and I first heard the song on Morning Becomes Eclectic on the radio and he thought it was some old Sylvester song. Little did we know it was a whole new thing. The CD is really good and I'm getting more and more into it. Plus as a surprise there is a cover of Violent Femmes "Gone Daddy Gone", something I was not expecting but now can't get enough of.

SEX PISTOLS - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols (1977)
I try to come off as some kind of music afficiando all the time, but truth be told I didn't even own this album until two days ago. An album that pretty much changed the landscape of music in the 70s, an album that is revered by all punks through out the world. So when I was at Tower Records the other day, they had a huge display declaring What's missing from your collection and there it was this Sex Pistols album for only $7. I felt more than compelled to pick it up when also in that rack of what you should own was Stevie Nick's last album which of course I do own. So I picked up this classic album and of course already knew most of the songs. It's amazing how something at one time so radical can sound not so radical thirty years ago. Of course the reason for that is, is because everyone who wanted to make punk rock started by listening to this album and adding or subtracting from the elements. None have come close to reproducing it because no one else can be the first radicals. Though "Anarchy In The UK" and "God Save The Queen" along with "Pretty Vacant" are forever branded in the mind, but there are 9 other classics on this album and through pissiness, thick accents and a lot of drum rolls I am finally in the know.

MARILYN MARTIN - This Is Serious (1988)
Again, going to a whole other extreme we have my girl Marilyn Martin and her hard to find second album. Best known as the female lead on Phil Collin's "Seperate Lives", she made her own album in 1986 with one of my all time fav songs "Night Moves" and then two years later launched this her second album. Starting with the single "Possessive Love" it's a dance rock number written for her by Madonna of all people. The song is fun, the music is fun and her voice can cut through glass. In fact it's her voice and not the whole 80s dance pop motiff that keep me putting this album on. There are some rocking tunes albeit they do have that synth drum behind him, but the minute "Lay Me Down" begins I'm hooked. The whole album is combined with great moody tracks and some earth shattering dance rock pop. The first album may stand up better in the 00s than this one, but that oh so 80s dance pop still has its place on my stereo... just ask Alf and his ever growing fear of Taylor Dayne.

QUEEN - Classic Queen
I had made a pledge not to put greatest hits or compilations on these lists but sometimes that's all I own of a group. It occured to me the other day that all the Queen I ever owned in the past I have sold off for cigarettes and beer while living in the cold depths of Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. So I ran off to Tower to buy me some Queen. I figured I'd start with the most obvious and get all the hits I could. This collection is for sure a great way to start, with the hits like "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", "We Will Rock You" etc. I can't stop listening to it. Unfortunetly they had so many hits, they had to put out a second version called "Classic Queen" which has "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Under Pressure" so I bought that one too. There is a remastered Greatest Hits out there but once again it doesn't have all the songs, perhaps one day Bubbatunes will come up with the perfect Queen mix. Until then Queen Classic Queen and Queen's Greatest Hits will do just fine.

PATSY CLINE - Patsy Cline's Greatest Hits (1968)
I told you this was a blog of variety and since we just had a greatest hits compilation we might as well continue. A few weeks ago I was watching Lost and in Ana Alicia's flashback she was listening to Patsy Cline's "Crazy". I thought to myself, "That really is a great song. I should buy me some Pasty." Then when Alf and I went to Hairspray at the Pantages, we stopped for cocktails at the Frolic Room, a small Hollywood bar (and oh so frickin' cool) next to the theater. As some old man danced his last dance to a blues song, Patsy's "She's Got You" came on the jukebox and in the closeted spots of that bar, I realized Patsy Cline was a vocal genius and I was going to buy one of her albums. As luck would have it, I found this remastered album from 1968 with 12 of her songs (and really the only Patsy compilation I could find that had all the songs I was looking for). While listening to the glory that really is Patsy Cline I read the liner notes which informed me this album holds the record as spending the most weeks on the Billboard country charts than any other album on any other Billboard chart. It also mentions how for years and years people are rediscovering Patsy's talent and of course this certainly rings true for I am a new Patsy convert. All you have to do is listen to her country/blues/pop stylings and realize this was one amazing woman. I can't believe how talented she really was. But I have to admit my favorite track, though "Walking After Midnight", "Crazy" and a whole slew of others may be personal favs of others, one does of "She's Got You" and you will be hooked on country, or at least Patsy's country.

DIXIE CHICKS - Taking The Long Way (2006)
and since we're on a country kick, this week's highlight is by those oh so loud country girls who are not about to apologize for anything they've said or done. The Dixie Chicks' are back with a #1 album and a whole ton of attitude. Opening up with the title track, Natalie Maines and her gal pals take us through heart felt confessions and foot stomping pissiness. I had heard them perform "I Hope" a few weeks ago on some concert show and since I did like their last album and pretty much love Natalie's attitude, I figured I'd buy this one if I found it priced cheap enough. But then on the season finale of the TV series Medium, they kept playing this haunting little song with groovy little harmonies, "how long do you wanna be loved? is forever enough/ is forever enough?" and I fell in love. Imagine my happiness when they announced at the end of the show that the music was from the new Dixie Chicks' album. I ran out and bought it at Tower the day it came out and I love it. The song is called "Lullabye" and as of right now it's my fav on the album. On top of those two there is some kick ass stuff on here including "Not Ready To Make Nice" where she addresses her public's opinion of her or the public who disdains her, and her unapologetic opinions on Bush and the state of the world are addressed in a few other songs but no where as good as that one. The whole album is great with fun harmonies, heartfelt lyrics and an unabashed attitude which I love.

So there you have it, this week's random 7, I hope the craziness of genres didn't leave your musical buds all in a tither, and instead just helped you realize how much great music can transcend from soul searching country pop through angry punk rants and synth 80s drums, there's something for everyone... now you know why I spend so much damn money on CDs, I love it all.

I Don't Get It

Overheard while walking to Tower Records:

Two guys a muscle man and his dressed in black skinny sidekick are walking to the Coffee Bean across Sunset Boulevard:

Muscle guy: "I'll have to show you the email. He said, "you don't know what it's like to be handicapped. I would take a bullet for you." I mean, can you believe it? (Angrily) What does that have to do with doing the Lord's work?"